Learning to Dance in the Rain
by inspired.by.music
Summary: Alex was a fairly ‘normal’ teenage girl. She never expected to meet a celebrity, let alone befriend one. But when tragedy strikes and lives are at risk, how far will she go to protect the ones she loves? Shane/OC
1. Trailer

_One girl. One boy._

"_I'm Alex."_

"_My name's Shane."_

_They met under normal circumstances._

"_GET OUT!"_

"_You and I aren't that different."_

_But what they went through was anything but normal._

"_Mom! Dad! Please! Please, no!"_

"_We have to get out of here!"_

"_I can't leave them!"_

_When everything they know changes._

"_Shane, I can't do this."_

_And together they are forced to not only protect, but raise a little girl._

"_I don't know how to do this!"_

_Will I draw them closer?_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_Or will the tragedy drive them apart?_

"_Shane! Where's Cecily?!"_

_Their lives will be changed, there's no doubt about it. The question is will they survive the new life that's forced upon them? Or is this the story of the end?_

**A/N: this is just something that popped into my head. I already have the first chapter and part of the second chapter done, so let me know if it sounds good, and I'll update :)**


	2. Meeting

**A/N: I got 4 reviews for the trailer! so im happy! I'll admit the story starts out a little slow, but you hafta lay the foundation before you can build the house right? lol. anyways...Review!!! please!**

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 1: Meeting**

Alex sat on her bed with her back against the headboard listening to music as she read. The music was loud enough to drown out any noise, but she happened to see the little red light on the phone flicker out of the corner of her eye. She paused her iPod as she pressed the 'talk' button on the phone and cradled it between her head and shoulder. "Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Paul Gray. I'm trying to reach John or Meredith McClure." Alex dog-eared the page she was reading and set the book aside as she reached for a pen and pad of paper.

"My parents aren't home right now. Can I take a message?"

"Yeah. Just tell them that the Grays called and were wondering if the boys could stay at your house for a week. If it's no trouble of course." Alex jotted down the quick note.

"Alright, is there a number we can reach you back at?" The man gave Alex a number, thanked her for her time, then hung up.

These types of calls were fairly normal at Alex's house. See her parents, John and Meredith McClure as it were, ran what some call a 'foster home', but really it was much more than that. Usually they took in children who had been abused or neglected by their birth parents and rehabilitated them until the child was ready to, depending on their age, either go out and make a life for themselves or find a suitable family to live with. Many kids like Alex would be jealous of the attention her parents gave the other children, but she was different. Alex loved what her parents did and she played a big part in it. It was probably because Alex had once been a foster kid herself, she had a dark past that very few people knew about, but her parents, not her biological parents mind you, saved her at the age of ten.

She was the only kid that her parents had actually adopted. Meredith was a certified children's psychologist and John had a degree in business had worked for social services for fifteen years, so together they were perfect for the cases they handled daily. They could hold up to seven kids in they're house at a time, but they had just 'graduated' four kids and held none other than two-year-old Cecily. This being the reason her parents weren't home at the moment, they had gotten a called from social services saying that they had four 'special cases' for them. Alex, along with her parents, always hated that term. They're children, people, not 'cases'. At the moment, Cecily was taking her mid-day nap, which she should've been up from soon, so Alex had some rare time to herself. She was homeschooled so she could help her parents out, but it was summer so she didn't have school anyway.

Alex stood and walked downstairs, placing the note on the counter as she poured herself a glass of lemonade. She smiled when she heard the light _slap_ of small feet against the hardwood floor. "Cesy…" Alex turned toward the small child.

"Ally." Cecily smiled and ran into Alex's arms. She was the one and only person that Alex allowed to call her 'Ally'. Cecily's parents had apparently abused her since she was a baby and then left her at an abandoned house, as if she was some stray dog, but even through all that she turned out great. One of the best two year olds Alex had ever met. Alex heard the sound of the front door opening, she kissed Cecily's forehead.

"Let's go get Jonny and Mere, ok?" The small strawberry-blonde threw her arms around Alex's neck and hugged tightly. Alex just laughed and walked toward the front of the house. Two girls, both Caucasian, and two boys, one African-American and one Caucasian, walked into the house each carrying only a backpack of items that social services had supplied them with. John and Meredith walked in behind the kids and smiled at Alex.

"Alex, give Cecily to your mother so she can get her snack and help me with the kids." Alex nodded, obeying her father. After Meredith had taken Cecily, John introduced the children to Alex. The five-year-old Caucasian boy was named Marty, he had blue eyes and shaggy brown hair. The brown-haired, green-eyed seven-year-old girl's name was Gracie. Sherry was the name of the twelve-year-old girl, she had short choppy red hair and blue eyes. Jerome, the African-American boy, was fifteen, had brown eyes and a short afro. Alex smiled politely and introduced herself.

"My name is Alexandra, but you can call me Alex or Al if you like. I'm seventeen, incase you were wondering. If you guys want to follow me I'll show you around." All four complied without so much as a smile, that was usual though. Within a week they'd all be having fun and smiling like there's no tomorrow. Alex showed them through the entire house. In the basement was the master bedroom, which of course belonged to John and Meredith, one of the guest room's where the boys stayed, the playroom, the office, and the laundry room. The second floor contained the kitchen, dinning room, two living rooms, and a room that was usually used as the hangout room for the older kids, but could turn in another bedroom if needed.

The third floor had Alex's room, the nursery, and another guest room used for the girls. And in the very top of the house, which had been built as an addition, was the study Alex had transformed into her own personal library. The house had basically been custom built for their needs. The basement had the master bathroom, along with an additional bathroom connected to the guest room. The second floor had a full bathroom connected to the hangout/bedroom and a half a bathroom. The third floor had two full bathrooms, one on Alex's room and the other on the guestroom. Just as Alex finished up the tour of the house, her father called her from downstairs. She led the four back downstairs to the living room, surprised that her dad wasn't already in there.

"Alright guys, stay in here for a minute, my dad wants to set some ground rules." That's what happened usually. Alex would give the new kids a tour of the house, then everyone would meet in the living room. Alex walked toward the kitchen where she figured John was. "Hey dad, everyone's in the living room."

"Good, good. This note, are you sure the man's name was Paul Gray?"

"That's what he said. Is there something wrong?" John shook his head.

"No. We just haven't heard from him in a while, that's all."

"You know him?"

"Yes. Paul and his wife, Denise, adopted three boys from us. It had to have been thirteen, fourteen years ago now. The boys were brothers so it was very important to us that they all went to the same home. Nate, Shane, and Jason. We used to receive annual calls from them until about two years ago, the calls just came less and less and then stopped." Alex nodded.

"Well you should call him, after the meeting." John agreed and went to the living room. After he laid down the rules and told everyone where they would be staying, John dismissed them made the call. Thirty minutes later John walked into the kitchen. Alex was at the table with Cecily and Gracie coloring. "So?"

"Jason, Shane, and Nate will be staying with us for about a week. They'll be here later tonight and we'll figure out sleeping arrangements then."

"How old are they?" Alex asked out of curiosity. John thought for a moment.

"Well, Nate was just a baby when they were adopted, so he must be fourteen. So that make's Shane seventeen and Jason nineteen." Alex nodded, wondering why the names sounded so familiar together. _Nate, Shane, and Jason Gray._

It was eleven o'clock when Alex was wakened by someone ringing the doorbell. She was sitting in the living room on the couch. It had been a long day for everyone so Alex volunteered to wait up so she could let the boys in. Alex pulled the door opened and let in the three teenagers followed by a middle-aged man, presumably Paul Gray. "Sorry for being late. Traffic was horrible."

"It's fine." Alex answered, shaking the sleep from her body. Paul turned to his boys.

"Be good. Be polite. And be gentlemen."

"Bye dad." The three boys chorused. Alex had taken in the boys' appearances before their dad had even gotten out the door, matching the faces to the names that she already knew. Nate, fourteen years, small build, young features, aero-dynamic hair. Shane, seventeen years, medium build, strong jaw, uses lots of hair product. Jason, nineteen years, medium build, finer features that Shane, kind, wise.

"Hi, I'm Alex."

"Hey. I'm Nate."

"Hello, my names Shane."

"How are you? I'm Jason."

"I'll show you where you guys will be sleeping." Alex looked down at the plethora of suitcases that she hadn't noticed in her sleepy state. "Do you need some help with your things?" Alex took the three large duffle bags, which still left the boys two suitcases each. Alex led them upstairs into the guestroom across the hall from her own bedroom. It was the biggest of the three guestrooms so that's where her dad had told her to put them. She threw the duffle bags on one of the two beds as the boys piled into the room.

"There are only two beds." Shane stated, only to get smacked upside the head by Jason. Jason smiled politely at Alex.

"Thank you." Alex smirked.

"One of you can take the couch, or two of you can share one bed. The beds are pretty big so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Thanks." Nate said.

"Get some rest boys." Alex left the room, glad to snuggle into her bed and finally get some sleep. She walked into her room and saw two sleeping figures in her bed. She had forgotten Gracie and Sherry were sleeping in her room for the night. They hadn't had the chance to turn the downstairs hangout room into the girls' bedroom yet. Alex groaned. She changed into her pajamas and stumbled back out into the hall. Now it was time to weigh her options. She was so tired that she didn't think she'd make it downstairs, there was no bed in the nursery, and the only real option she had was the couch in the guestroom. Alex's mind was so far gone with sleep she had basically forgotten about the boys. Luckily Nate and Shane had decided to share a bed.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The next morning Alex awoke to the sound of hushed voices. "Dude, what is she doing on the couch? In our room?" Even though she had just woken up Alex could tell it was Shane talking.

"I don't know. Maybe she sleepwalks." Nate answered.

"You think she's some crazy stalker?" Shane asked.

"Shane?" Jason started.

"What?"

"Shut up. I don't even know if she knows who we are." Jason reasoned.

"She has to, I mean, she is a girl, right?" Shane answered arrogantly.

"Shut up Shane." Nate and Jason both yell/whispered.

"Come on guys, you really think she doesn't know who we are?"

"Of course I know who you are." Alex said suddenly without moving to face them or opening her eyes. "You're three pieces of dead meat if you don't shut up and let me sleep." It was completely silent, they obviously were thrown off by her sudden talking. Shane was first to break that silence.

"Um, why are you in here?"

"Because my bed was hijacked, I was too tired to go to the downstairs couch, and it's my damn house. Now shut up, before I shut you up permanently." Alex didn't exactly like being woken up.

"She seemed nice last night." Shane whispered.

"Well last night she hadn't been awoken at five am by someone claiming her to be a crazy stalker. Now go back to sleep Shane." Jason said and that was the last of it.

Alex awoke four hours later, at nine and left the room without waking up the boys. During the summer weekdays, her parents usually let her sleep until ten, but she had gotten over nine hours of sleep so she wasn't tired. Alex headed up to her study, she'd use the extra hour to read one of the books she was currently working on. She curled up on the chaise lounge, grabbing the book that she left sitting on it. Alex had made that room her personal project after her thirteenth birthday. The room had nothing but white walls and beige carpet then. Now the walls were still white, but they had been splattered with blue, green, red, purple, silver, yellow, and orange paint and written on the wall in front of her in green was 'Rock and Roll'. The carpet was lime green and the ceiling was bright yellow, while all the seating was black.

The bookcases were made of black metal and rest of the furniture looked antique, clashing with the rest of the room, but Alex loved it. It was 100 percent her style. John often referred to the room as Alex's 'bat cave', because no one else was allowed up there. The entire left side of the room was lined with bookshelves stacked with books of all kinds; from historical to sci-fi to romance to fantasy to horror and more. The chaise lounge that Alex was seated in sat amongst the bookcases, while the rest of the room was mostly open space. Her guitar and keyboard sat in one corner, while an antique desk sat in the corner across from it. The room had four large windows, one on each wall and since the bookcases didn't have backs, plenty of light filtered into the room during the day. Still the room had a six circular light fixtures built into depressions in the ceiling for night. The last, and one of Alex's favorite, features in the room was the stereo built into the wall near the corner her instruments were in.

Alex set the book down, having the urge to do something else. She glanced at the clock, it had only been ten minutes. Her eyes focused on her acoustic guitar and she decided that now would be a good time to work on the chords to the lyrics she had written.

A half hour later Alex looked down at the completed song that sat in her lap. She decided to play it on last time before heading downstairs.

_Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails  
Under my fingernails_

I'm empty, lonely, and accused  
Accused without a word  
My fingernails are chipping down  
From clawing in the dirt  
I'm so lost, lost and confused  
I threw it all away  
How can I be beautiful  
When I am so afraid

Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails  
All my dreams out of reach  
Under my fingernails

I watched it all slip through my hands  
My brokenness revealed  
I'm so proud, I'm so proud  
I'm crying to be filled  
I'm killing, destroying the plague  
That's killing me away  
I've got to live, I've got to love  
Like I am unafraid

Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails

_Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails_

All my dreams out of reach  
Under my fingernails

I'm wasting, wasting every moment  
I'm suffering, I'm bleeding, on my knees  
Who's going to save me?  
Suffering, bleeding  
Save me from this pit of frailty

Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails

_Never reaching what I want to reach  
Never being who I want to be  
Blaming me when I fall and fail  
All my dreams splintering  
Under my fingernails_

_  
All my dreams out of reach  
Under my fingernails_

Never reaching me

"You're a really good singer." Shane said from the doorway. Alex jumped to her feet, her guitar clattering to the floor. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Alex's eye widened

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it." Rage flooded her system.

"Do you have no respect for other people's privacy?!" She didn't mean to go off on him, but no one was supposed to hear that song especially not a stranger.

"I'm… sorry?" Shane's face showed obvious confusion. He didn't know why she was going off on him.

"No one was supposed to hear that! You're not supposed to be up here!" Alex pointed at the door. "Get out!"

"I-"

"NOW!" Shane left, closing the door behind him. Alex fell back on her chair and suppressed the sobs that she felt constricting her chest, before they could be heard. Crying was a weakness and she wasn't weak. Just like showing vulnerability through that song was a weakness. Still Alex couldn't stop the few tears that escaped her eyes. She rushed downstairs. "Mom, I'm not gonna be able to help with the kids today!"

Alex called through the house. She could hide the tears in her voice well enough, but her face usually got red and blotchy if she cried, not as easy to hide. "Why hon?"

"I just have some stuff to do. I'll be back later!" Alex made sure she stayed in motion as she made a B-line for the door.

"Alright!" Alex caught a glimpse of Shane's face as she hurried past him through the living room. She could see he was still both angry and confused at her outburst and he was glaring at her. Alex hesitated a moment to long, Shane seen her face as well. He saw the tears. Alex knew because his expression softened dramatically. She swore under her breath and got outside as quickly as possible, hoping that Shane wouldn't follow. She had gotten to the beginning of the woods behind the house before she noticed that he had.

"I'm sorry I invaded your privacy. I didn't know." Alex stopped walking, but didn't turn to face him.

"It's fine. I gotta do some stuff-"

"Look, I know you were crying and I think you're the kind of girl who thinks that's a weakness and I also know that song came from really deep."

"You've known me a day. You don't know anything about me."

"I know that you don't want me to see your face because I'll see the tears. I know that you can sing and play guitar really well. I know that you like to read. I know that you love children. I know you like bright colors and rock music. Or just music in general. And most of all I know that your past isn't all that different from mine." Alex was fuming, she wasn't even sure why at this point. She turned and faced him.

"You were one of the lucky ones. You were what, three, when my parents found you? I was ten. Certain days and memories have been engraved into my brain that a grown man couldn't handle let alone a little girl. So don't you dare tell me you know how I feel, 'cause you don't!" Alex spun and stormed away into the trees, only angry at herself for going off on the poor boy for the second time that morning. She heard footsteps behind her.

"That's a bit unfair, don't you think? You say I don't know you, fine, but what do you know about me. You know nothing about my past." Alex took a deep breath and turned to face Shane once again.

"I'm sorry, I just really don't like to talk about it. I'm sorry that I yelled, but I came out here to be alone." Shane nodded.

"I respect that, but I really don't think you _want_ to be alone right now." Alex starred at the Shane incredulously. She had known him for 12 hours and he already read her that well? Shane could tell she was trying to figure out how he knew that, so he explained himself. "Like I said, you and I aren't that different."

"Why do you care? I haven't even known you a day and your acting like you're my best friend or something." Shane smiled.

"You're different. I don't have many friends, because of trust issues I guess, but I can tell when I look at you, that your different." Trust didn't come easy to Alex, but this boy was starting to get to her.

"Yeah, same here, with the friends thing." Shane smile widened.

"See, I told you we were alike." Alex smiled and shook her head slightly. He talked like a child, but maybe that's what was so disarming about him.

**A/N: Review! please!**


	3. Scars

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 2: Scars**

Shane was right. Alex didn't want to be alone, so he stayed with her, in the woods and they talked. It had been a long time since Shane had been able to talk freely with anyone and not worry about the media getting their hands on it. It was refreshing. Their talking had eventually turned into twenty questions, which had gone closer to fifty questions.

"So what your favorite kind of cheese?" Shane asked and Alex laughed. He had a tendency to do that; make her laugh.

"Um…I like Monterey Jack."

"Me too!" Alex laughed at his slightly child-like excitement. "Ok, so your turn."

"Oh yeah…what do you do? Like I help my parents with the shelter, do you have a job?" Shane's eyes widened slightly, he had been purposely avoiding any subject that had to do with his fame, but this was the first direct question she had asked about it. Alex noticed his nervous reaction. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." It came out more of a question.

"No. No, it's okay. There's just this thing I've been avoiding telling you, 'cause I'm not sure how you'll react. Promise you won't freak out?"

"Oh my gosh. You're not transgendered or anything? Are you? I mean, cause if you are it's okay, maybe a little awkward but I'm not gonna stop talking to you or anything." Alex rambled until she was cut off by Shane's soft laughter.

"No. I'm 100 percent a guy and I have been my entire life." Alex sighed.

"What is it then?"

"Well have you ever heard of the band Connect 3?"

"Yeah, I've heard a couple of their songs, they're pretty decent. A little too cookie-cutter pop stuff if you ask me…" Alex began to ramble again, until realization threaded her expression. "You're _Shane Gray_. Lead singer of Connect 3. I knew your name sounded familiar." Alex's eyes widened as she remembered what she had said about his band. "I didn't mean you were bad or anything…" Shane waved his hand in dismissal.

"Don't worry about it. I don't like most the crap we play." Alex raised her eyebrow, Shane understood her confusion. "Most of what we play is from the 'label'. They won't even glance at the stuff we write. It's all about what's good for our image." Shane's voice was laced with contempt as he spoke the last sentence.

"Sorry to hear that. I bet what you write is ten times better than the stuff the label makes you put out." Alex's mind suddenly remembered how she'd treated Shane the last day. "Sorry I threatened you and your brothers. And yelled at you." Shane smiled.

"Don't worry about it. It was actually kinda nice that someone was treating me like a normal person. That's why I didn't really want to tell you who I am."

"Well then I'll make sure I'll yell at you like you're any other person and you have to show me some of your songs sometime. Deal?" Shane laughed.

"Only if you show me some of yours." Alex thought about it for a moment.

"Okay." It was comfortably silent for a moment. "So, tell me what it's like to be famous."

"It's really not all that it's cracked up to be. I mean don't get me wrong I love what I do, but the paparazzi and crazy fan girls can get a bit much sometimes." She nodded.

"So if you're famous why are you staying with us?"

"It was my dad's idea. He said we needed a break. To go somewhere that nobody _really_ knows us and just relax. Its actually kinda nice, getting away from it all." Alex smiled and stood to her feet. "Where are you going?" Shane asked. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Trust me?" Shane wasn't the type of person who trusted easily, but Alex was different. He could see it in her eyes. So he nodded. Alex smiled widened. Shane froze, and he realized how beautiful her smile was. Alex suddenly pulled Shane forward, dragging him behind her. She led him further into the woods, so far that he began to worry, but then she stopped. In front of them stood a rickety old shed.

Shane gazed at the old beat up building in wonder for a moment before glancing over at Alex quizzically. "I've never shown this to anyone before. I found it when I was seven and it's where I go to get away from it all." Alex stepped forward and pushed open the creaky door. She looked back at Shane, encouraging him to follow. Light flowed through gaps in the slats of wood as well as the open door. It was quite simple really. A wobbly table sat in the corner with a matching chair.

On top of the table were at least ten candles, all of different height and girth, a box of matches, stacks of paper, many pencils, and a knife that was used to sharpen the pencils if they became dull. An old acoustic guitar leaned against the table and on the opposite side of the ten by seven foot shack was a simple bed made of leafs. Alex walked toward the bed. "This is my favorite part." She tugged on a rope and more light flooded in from the ceiling. She tugged it again and the hole closed. "I sneak out here a lot at night to look at the stars and stuff. It's not much, but I like it." Shane smiled.

"It's cool. I like it too." Alex scooped up her guitar in one hand.

"I think it's time I heard a Shane Gray original."

"Alright." Shane took the guitar from Alex and sat down in the chair. "Do you want to hear, break-up, sad, happy, or crazy?"

"I don't know. Play me your favorite." Shane thought for a second then began strumming on his guitar.

**(Hollywood by the Jonas Brothers. I didn't feel the need to post the lyrics.)**

"That was really good." Shane smiled.

"It's my favorite because me, Nate, and Jason wrote it together. It's basically us saying we're gonna be us no matter what. To bad the label had different ideas."

"The label can go suck a turtle for all I care. You guys should tell the label where they can stick their sugary-pop-crap. Connect 3 is big enough now that you don't need the label. I'm sure there are plenty of other companies that are willing to let you have artistic freedom with your music." Shane laughed.

"Suck a turtle? I don't think I've heard that one before."

"Don't make fun of me." Alex pouted slightly. "And that wasn't the point." Shane smirked.

"Alright, well I played you one of my songs. Now it's your turn."

"Actually you already heard one of my songs today." Shane stood and held out the guitar.

"Play." Alex crossed her arms.

"Nope."

"Yes."

"What are you gonna do if I refuse?" Alex said mockingly. Shane smiled deviously, raised one eyebrow, and carefully set the guitar on the ground.

"Are you ticklish Alex?" Alex's eyes widened slightly.

"N-No." Shane tickled her sides, causing laughter to erupt from Alex's mouth. Her legs collapsed under her. She laid on her back with Shane knelt over her, tickling her sides without mercy.

"Are you gonna sing?"

"NO!" Alex squealed between laughs. Shane tickled harder and within a few seconds, Alex caved. "F-Fine!" Shane stood then helped Alex up and, without thinking, tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear. Their eyes locked, Shane's hand still wrapped around her elbow. Their heads slowly got closer, as if pulled by some invisible force. They both abruptly pulled away at the same time. Alex quickly picked up the guitar. "Alright, my song."

"Yeah…the song." Shane agreed, trying to ignore the awkwardness that had filled the room. Alex played the familiar chords.

_Enemy  
Familiar friend  
My beginning and my end  
Knowing truth  
Whispering lies  
And it hurts again...__**(Fight Inside by Red. I added these lyrics because I figured fewer of you knew this song)**_

What I fear  
What I try  
The words I say and what I hide  
All the pain  
I want it to end  
But I want it again

And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins  
And it's raging  
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's still the same  
Pursuing pain  
Isn't worth the light I've gained  
We both know  
How this will end  
But I do it again

And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins  
And it's raging  
The fight inside is hurting me again  
And it finds me  
The war within me pulls me under  
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's nothing  
(It's everything)  
It's nothing  
(It's everything)  
It's nothing  
(It's everything)  
It's nothing  
It's everything

And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins  
And it's raging  
The fight inside is hurting me again  
And it finds me  
The war within me pulls me under  
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's breaking me  
It's breaking me

I'm falling apart  
I'm falling apart

Shane starred at Alex, unsure what to say. The song was deep and powerful and the emotion the seeped from her voice made it all the more profound. Shane knew that she'd been through a lot, but he didn't know the details, or what went on inside of her as a result. "Don't look at me like that." Alex said, standing up and setting the guitar down.

"Like what?" Shane asked, breaking out of his stupor.

"I don't need or want your pity. You asked me to sing you one of my songs and I did, but don't look at me like I'm a wounded puppy."

"I'm not pitying you. That song was just…wow…" Of course he felt pity for her, although he'd call it sympathy. How could he not?

"Don't look at me like that." Alex demanded louder this time. "This is why I didn't want to play any of my songs for you." She turned and walked out of the shed, Shane followed her.

"I'm sorry, it's just hard to hear someone hurt and not want to help." Alex turned so she was facing Shane again.

"I don't need your help." She turned to walk away again, but Shane grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him. "Wha-" Alex could've kept going off on him, and would've, if Shane's lips hadn't interrupted her. For a moment, she felt herself enjoying the kiss, but when he pulled away all the memories came flooding back. Alex slapped him good and hard across the face. Tears swelled in her eyes, so she turn and ran. She ran as fast as she could through the trees, back toward her house. Alex ran through the front door and up the stairs, ignoring the looks she received from her parents.

Shane entered the house a moment later, panting, and darted for the stairs only to be stopped by John. "Whoa, slow down there son. What's going on?" It took a moment for Shane to catch his breath and when he did, all he could answer was a weak,

"I don't know." John let him go and Shane took to the stairs two at a time. Alex was in the middle of the hallway, crying into a very confused Jason's shoulder. "Alex." Her head shot up and she backed away from Jason, looking between Shane and Jason like a cornered stray. "Alex." Shane repeated and as soon as he did, she dashed for her room, slamming the door behind her. Jason starred at Shane.

"What in the world did you do?" Jason asked. Shane looked at his older brother, worry and confusion spread across his face.

"I think I may have just brought back every memory that she's been trying to suppress her entire life." Shane knew this because he himself had been there. Lord knows he had more than enough suppressed memories.

"Be careful." Jason said, before walking downstairs. Shane inched toward Alex's bedroom door and knocked softly.

"Alex?" No answer. He knocked a little louder. "Alex, I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. Please open the door."

"Go away." Shane could barely tell she'd been crying by her voice, but _he_ could tell.

"Please, Ally. I didn't mean to hurt you." The door swung open.

"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry, Alex." Shane looked almost as if he was going to cry. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He whispered.

"Dammit, if your start crying I swear I'll kick your ass. I can't stand it when guys cry." Shane smiled and wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs.

"So am I forgiven?" Shane asked with puppy-dog eyes. Alex rolled her eyes.

"Fine." She said with a smirk.

"You wanna tell me exactly why you ran away?" Alex couldn't help but laugh lightly, then her smile faded and she nodded.

"I'll tell you, but you might wanna have a seat. This could take a while." Shane nodded and followed Alex into her room. He sat on her desk's chair and Alex took a seat on her bed. She explained to Shane her childhood. She told him about the physical, verbal, and sexual abuse that her father inflicted on her and how her mother often joined her father in the abuse. Alex showed Shane a spot on her shoulder where her parents had burned 'Fuck up' into her skin using cigarettes.

She was forced to go to the crack house with them on multiple occasions and stay in a dirty room with a dirty man who touched her in all the wrong places, while her parents got high and god knows what else. And all that plus more happened between the ages of 6 and 10. It didn't start getting really bad until she was eleven and she hit early puberty. When she was younger her dad did nothing more than touch her, but after she turned 11 he started to molest and rape her. Her mother would hold her down as her father did unspeakable things to her. She had been forced to get an abortion at the young age of eleven and a half. Finally when she was twelve her parents got bored with torturing her, so they left her in a park in the dead of winter. Luckily John and Meredith were making their rounds that day and picked her up.

Alex had barely even noticed the tears that had been flowing down her face the entire time she was talking, or the fact that Shane had moved next to her, his arm holding her in a half hug speaking comforting words. All she could feel was the burning pain that swelled in her chest and made her want to scream. So she did, but it came out more as a strangled cry, a short yelp that didn't reach beyond the borders of the room. That's when Shane's words filled her ears, he was singing.

_Worlds are spinning round  
There's no time for slowing down  
So won't you take a breath, just take a breath  
People change and promises are broken  
Clouds can move and skies will be wide open  
So don't forget to take a breath_

Life isn't suffocating  
Air isn't overrated

Alex sniffled and pressed her face into Shane's shoulder. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"For what?"

"Ruining you shirt." He chuckled.

"You can ruin my shirt any time you want to." Shane paused, realizing that sentence could be taken differently. "I mean, my shoulder's here if you need one to cry on. Not to be cliché or anything."

"Thanks." Alex pulled away from Shane and wiped her face. "I can't believe I just blubbered all over a guy who I met yesterday."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I was crying too." Alex looked at his face and gently brushed away the glistening liquid on his cheeks then suddenly socked him in the shoulder with her other hand. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I told you not to cry." Shane laughed again.

"Sorry." Alex hugged him.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Crying." Now Shane was beyond confused.

"So you just hit me, because I cried with you. And now you're thanking me, for crying with you." Alex nodded.

"Yup."

"You're something else."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" Alex asked playfully.

"Definitely a good thing." Shane smirked.

"I still can't believe I cried. In front of you. I don't even do that in front of my parents."

"Oh wonderful, I have the ability to make girls cry. That's lovely." He said sarcastically.

"It really is." Alex smiled. "It's good for me I guess. To finally let someone passed my so called wall."

"Yeah, same here. I mean I have my brothers, but that's different." Alex nodded.

"Sorry for slapping you."

"It's okay, I mean I understand why you did." It was silent for a minute when Shane laughed suddenly.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just we've know each other a day and already I've kissed you, you've slapped me and made threats on me and my brother's lives, I know more about you than most people, we've cried together--which we both never do--you've shown me your secret hide out--which no one else knows about--and played me a song. I feel like we've known each other for months." Alex pondered the statement for a minute.

"Yeah. And with all that said, you haven't told me that much about yourself. I mean I know some of your favorite things thanks to our game of 20 questions, but what's your story."

"Well, I don't remember much about my biological parents and Jason said that's a good thing. I was three when your parents found us, but Jason was five so he remembers some things, although the only thing he's ever told me is that our parents were bad people and used to beat us. He really doesn't like talking about it much, but he did tell me that the scar on my hip was from them. He didn't tell me how I got it though."

"Can I see it?" Alex asked before she could stop herself. Shane gave her a questioningly look. "Sorry…it's on your hip…a little inappropriate, but I study that kind of thing. I should be able to tell what caused it." Shane stood to his feet and turned so his left side was facing Alex. He carefully lifted his shirt a little and folded the waistband of his jeans down an inch, revealing the mark. Alex gasped.

Knowing instantly by the width, shape, and length of the gruesome scar what happened. Of course, because of the scar's age, the details were only generalities, but it was enough to faze Alex. She bit her lip and lightly traced the wound with her index finger, causing Shane to flinch, but he didn't move from her touch. Alex pulled her hand away, biting her lip and holding back the tears. The scar was indeed gruesome, and what she could only guess had happened was twice as much. Shane looked down at her pain stained face.

"What is it?" He asked softly as he recovered the scar. Alex shook her head, not wanting to tell him.

"N-Nothing."

"Hey, it's my scar. I think I deserve to know what happened."

"And how often did that reasoning work with Jason? Besides I could be completely wrong. At least I hope I am." She said the last sentence so Shane couldn't even hear it. He sat back down next to Alex.

"Please, just tell me what you saw." She took a deep breath.

"It was made by a serrated edge, like a steak knife. It cut deep, probably into the bone. And judging by the length, width, and color; it was done slowly, deliberately, in a sawing motion." With every word, Alex had to fight the tears harder. Who would take a steak knife to their two-or-three year old? She thought her biological parents we're the only people that cruel to their own child. Alex looked at Shane, tears slowly leaking from his chocolate eyes, and she could see, through his eyes, the memories and flashbacks flooding into his mind. That's when she couldn't stand it anymore.

She wrapped Shane in a full-on hug, squeezing him tightly as she felt his tears on the side of her head. He gently caressed Alex, letting her hug him. "I'm sorry." She said and pulled away from him. Shane stroked her cheek softly with his fingertips.

"Don't look so sad. You didn't do anything." Alex's skin burned at his touch, her entire body tingled. Shane was right, she shouldn't be so upset. She had met kids that had gone through more than that and she never felt this sorry for them, hell, she herself had gone through much more than that. But still for some reason knowing that _Shane's_ parents did that to him, made her want to hug him and never let go.

"I know _I_ didn't do anything, but I know what it feels like to go through something like that." Shane nodded.

"Thanks." He realized that his hand was still touching her cheek. Shane blushed and started to pull his hand away, but Alex stopped him by placing her hand over his and moving her other hand to his cheek. They starred into each other's eyes, while their lips became gradually closer. Shane froze, not wanting to upset her again so Alex moved in the rest of the way, pausing hesitantly about a centimeter from his lips. She let out a decisive breath before pressing her lips onto Shane's, slow and gently.

Shane made sure not to rush her, but when his calloused fingers slid over her neck and Alex parted her lips slightly, he couldn't help but pull her bottom lip into his mouth. Massing the soft flesh with his tongue, before releasing it and gently kissing her again. Their lips separated, but their foreheads connected and Shane nuzzled her small nose with his. "D-Did I do that right?" Alex asked shyly. Shane chuckled.

"You did it perfectly. Are you alright?" He asked, making sure she wasn't going to run away this time.

"Yeah."

"You're not gonna slap me or run away?" Alex laughed.

"No."

"Good." Shane answered pulling his face from hers.

"Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"I know we've both already pointed this out like a million times, but we've only now each other for a day. It can't be normal for feeling to grow this quickly." Shane smirked.

"Well, I think we've both proven that we're anything but normal. Plus it feels like I've known you forever, I mean we might not know everything about each other, but we know a hell of a lot."

"True."

"Hey, you mind if I call you Skittles?" Alex raised an eyebrow, but could stop the smile that spread her lips.

"Why?"

"Cause, baby, your lips are Skittles and I love to taste the rainbow." Alex burst into laughter.

"You use that on all the girls?"

"Nah that was a new one, a Shane Gray original pick-up line." Alex leaned a little closer to him.

"Well then, Shane Gray, would you like to taste the rainbow again?"

"Yes, yes Shane Gray would." Alex smiled and leaned closer, their lips only inches apart.

"Well, you're gonna hafta catch me then." Before Shane could process her statement, Alex was on her feet and out the door. He followed her down the stairs and out of the house, but she disappeared.

"Alex! Come on, that's not even fair!" He heard muffled laughing from some shrubbery on the side of the house. Shane tiptoed over to the bush and peaked in.

"BOO!" Two hands startled him from behind. He wiped around and Alex stepped back out of reach.

"How…"

"Missed me, missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!" Alex sang teasingly. She smirked before darting off, Shane followed her. He was a faster runner, but Alex still had the advantage. She knew where she was going and when to leap over roots that were sticking out from the ground, Shane however did not.

"Oof." He slammed face first into the ground, cursing the root that had made an attempt on his life. Alex laughed and knelt down beside him.

"You okay?" Shane groaned in pain. Alex, momentarily distracted, didn't notice Shane shift to his side until he pulled her down against him and rolled on top of her, ensuring she couldn't escape.

"Gotcha." He proclaimed happily. Alex pouted.

"No fair. You cheated."

"Cheat or no cheat, you still owe me a kiss."

"Fine, if you're gonna force me…"

"No. Don't even joke about that. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to do." Shane said seriously, then smirked. "But we both know you want to."

"Oh do I now?" Shane sighed.

"Must you be so stubborn? Can't you at least admit that you want-" Alex pressed her lips against Shane's and she could feel him smiling. "There. Was that so hard?" Shane said, keeping his smirk. Alex pushed on his chest.

"Get off me ya big lug."

"You really think calling someone unintelligent and clumsy is anyway to get them to do what you ask?" He smirked.

"Fine, get off me _please_." Shane put a little more of his weight on her.

"Make me."

"You really want me to make you?" Shane paused for a second.

"Poor choice of words. What I meant was I don't want to get up because I like it here."

"Well I'm pretty sure if you stay there, my dad's gonna kick your ass." Shane jumped to his feet and spun to see John walking toward them. Alex stood as well and chuckled beside Shane.

"Don't let him kill me, I'm to young to die." Shane whispered. Alex gently touched his upper arm.

"He won't kill you. Maim you maybe, but not kill."

"That makes me feel much better." John stopped walking two feet away from the couple. He was at least four inches taller than Shane and very fit for his age. It creeped Alex out to no end how many of the other teenage girls who live around her referred to her dad as 'hot'.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Alex was immediately frightened. Her father never raised his voice let alone swore.

"Dad-" Her voice held a slight tremble, but she swallowed and kept going. "-we were just…" Alex was at a loss for words. What were they doing? Laying on the ground kissing. Yeah, that's something to tell your enraged father. Shane sensed the fear in Alex's voice, so he spoke up.

"Sir, please don't be mad at Alex. I'm sorry it was my fault, it won't happen again." John studied Shane for a minute then looked at Alex. His face softened. John knew because of Alex's past yelling didn't go over well with her; one of the main reasons he never raised his voice. Now he realized his mistake.

"I'm sorry I yelled, but I want you both in the house, now." John turned and started walking, mumbled something about hormones and girls growing up to quickly. Shane and Alex followed him. Once they arrived in the living room, John told Shane to have a seat and turned to Alex. "Go up to your room, I'll be up in a minute."

"But dad-" Alex started to protest, but to his credit, Shane cut her off.

"Alex, please listen to your dad." Alex still didn't move, so John intervened.

"Now Alex." He spoke forcefully without raising his voice. Alex clenched her jaw, but ascended the stairs as she was told. John looked at Shane and took a seat on the couch across from him. "My daughter is not just any girl." Shane sighed and nodded, he'd gotten this talk before, that's what every dad says. "No, you're not listening. Alex is different, I doubt she told you about her past, but she's not just some girl you can use up and throw away."

"I know, sir. She did tell me about her biological parents and as I'm sure _you_ know I was in a similar situation. I'm not using her." John looked a little shocked, for good reason. His daughter didn't trust just anyone and _he_ defiantly didn't trust this boy.

"I've heard about you, Shane Gray. Bad boy of the press. New girlfriend every week." Shane inwardly groaned, it always came back to that.

"I don't expect you to understand this, but the media has its own image of who I am. Every time I meet a girl, it gets caught on camera and somehow made to look like we're together. The next week I meet another girl and suddenly she's 'Shane Gray's new girlfriend'. It's all a load of crock."

"I find it hard to believe the media was wrong 100 percent of the time."

"You want the truth? Here's it is, straight from the source. I have had three serious girlfriends in the past three years. In between the break-ups, I dated casually. In the cases of Taylor, A.J., and Emma, the stories were accurate, for the most part at least. I do not use girls; in fact, I wear a purity ring. My promise to my family, God, and me. And most of my so called 'bad-boy moments' were out of frustration at my label, who controls every lyric that comes from my mouth." John was slightly impressed by all Shane said, but he still wasn't convinced.

"My daughter means everything to me. She hasn't even known you for a day and you're leaving in less than a week, I don't want to see her get hurt." Shane hadn't even thought the short amount of time he had there.

"Can I go talk to her?" John hesitated, but nodded.

"I'll give you ten minutes. Then I need to talk with her." Shane tipped his head in gratitude and walked up to Alex's room. He knocked on the door.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you."

"Alex, its Shane. We need to talk." It was silent for a moment, then the door swung open.

"We need to talk?" She repeated with disdain. "He got to you didn't he? Somehow convinced you that I'm too weak to handle a relationship."

"He's just looking out for what's best for you and no matter how much I don't want to, I agree with him. I'm not it."

"I'm seventeen years old, I think I can decide what's best for myself."

"Please understand, I'm only going to be here for a week. The only thing this would cause is heartbreak." Alex gritted her teeth as she felt the familiar pang of hurt in the pit of her stomach.

"Fine." She stepped back and slammed the door as tears began to prick her eyes. Alex flicked the lock on her door before collapsing against it, and sliding down the smooth wood to the floor.

"Alex, I-I'm sorry." Shane's voice was muffled, but his retreating footsteps echoed loudly in her ears. She'd take any form of physical pain over the pain she felt in her chest at that moment. People seemed to enjoy walking into her life, leaving some kind of scar, and leaving. When the next knock came a few minute's later, her voice was to thin to answer right away.

"Alex?" It was her father.

"Go away." Alex said, her voice thick with emotion.

"Please unlock the door."

"GO AWAY!" She roared as loudly as she could. Her fragile voice squeaked and cracked, breaking her attempt at a strong façade. She listened as John walked away and her throat began to ache with tears. Alex took a deep breath and stood to her feet. Shane was just a boy and she'd get over him, just like she did everything else. She sat back on her bed and immersed herself in a book until her mom announced dinner was ready. Alex ate her dinner in angry silence, avoiding eye contact with both Shane and John, then excused herself and went outside.

She went out to her shed, half expecting Shane to follow, but at the same time knowing he wouldn't. Alex laid down on the cot and pulled open the hatch. The sky was beginning to darken, but the stars wouldn't be out for a while. She stood, lit the candles on the table, and lied back down. Amber light filled the small room, helping Alex relax. She chose not to think about Shane, but somehow her thoughts kept drifting back to his face. Eventually, she stood and walked to her desk, grabbing one of the pencils and slapping a piece of paper down in front of her. Alex started to sketch.

At first, she convinced herself it just some random boy, but as she finished the outline of his face, it became obvious who it was. She drew his finely sculpted body, then added his face's sharp features and shaggy hair. She put the piece of paper aside and took another blank sheet. She drew a girl sitting in the rain on a grassy hill, overlooking unseen landscape. Only half of her face was visible, but the girl was obviously sad. Next she drew a heart. It was badly beaten, with scars and wounds and missing pieces. And her final drawing was a pair of enlarged eyes, mascara ran in streaks and smudges making the effect of a crying girl.

Alex spread the fresh pictures side by side on the desk, it felt good to get her feelings out on paper. She moved back to the cot and lied on her back, looking up at the now visible stars. She must have been drawing for a couple hours at least. It had been a long day and Alex was growing increasingly tired. Her eyes shut slowly and she drifted into sleep.

**A/N: Whoa...amazing what can happen in a day right? :D yes I know they're relationship happened fast, but it had to...you'll have to wait and see :) Review?**


	4. Turn of Events

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 3: Turn of Events**

It was midnight and Alex still wasn't back, everyone was beginning to worry. Shane glanced at the clock once again and sighed, he had waited long enough. "I think I know where she went." He said standing from his seat next to Jason. Meredith, John, Nate, Jason, and Shane were waiting in the living room for Alex to return, the rest of the kids had gone to sleep.

"What?" John asked. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I thought she'd be back by now, I figured she needed some time."

"Well then, where is she?"

"I have to go alone. She doesn't want anyone to know where she is, that's the point." Meredith agreed and John remained silent. "Do you have a flashlight?"

Shane wondered in the woods, a single stream of light, coming from the flashlight he carried, lit the path in front of him. He entered the trees at the spot where him and Alex had earlier, hoping if he walked straight he'd find what he was looking for. Sure enough five minutes later he came across the shack. He slowly opened the door and saw Alex fast asleep on her little leaf-bed. He noticed one of the candles on the desk was burning dangerously close to the wooden table. Shane crossed the shed in three large strides and blew out the single candle. That's when he seen four recent looking drawings sitting in a group on the table. He sat quietly in the chair and examined the pieces of paper.

Shane seen the one that she had drawn of him, but the one that caught his eye was the battered heart and the one next to it, a girl who look vaguely like Alex, crying in the rain. He made his decision right there. Shane walked to Alex, knelt over her, and kissed her gently, waiting to feel her respond before pulling away. Alex starred up into his eyes, confusion written all over her face. "I don't care if your dad hates me and I don't care if we only have a week. I want to get to know you and see where it goes. I'm sorry I hurt you and I hope you can forgive me." Alex smiled and without a word pressed her lips back against his.

"I'm not dreaming am I?" She asked. Shane smiled.

"Nope. This is real."

"Good." She kissed him again.

"I'll take that as a yes." Alex nodded and Shane stood, then helped her up. Alex blew out the candles and they walked back to the house, Shane leading slightly with the flashlight. As they approach the door, Alex grabbed Shane's hand, noting how their fingers laced together perfectly. Shane flipped off the flashlight and Alex opened the door with her free hand. Together they walked into the living room. Alex knew as soon as she saw her dad that she should let go of Shane's hand, but she only squeezed tighter, and he squeezed back. Everyone's eyes were on them, traveling between them where Shane's hand still enclosed Alex's.

Jason and Nate stood and walked to the stairs, taking that as their queue to leave. Shane could've sworn he heard Jason whisper, "Good luck." as he past them. The couple stood in front of Meredith and John, waiting for any kind of response, but they all just stood there in silence. Finally Alex broke the silence.

"Mom-" But she was immediately cut off by John.

"Go with your brothers." He directed at Shane, but his eyes didn't leave Alex.

"Sir-" John's eyes snapped toward Shane.

"I need to talk with my daughter."

"Dad, I want him to stay here." Alex interjected, not letting go of Shane's hand.

"What is all this about?" Meredith asked. Alex shifted on her feet and glanced at her mom.

"Dad caught me and Shane kissing, now he's trying to keep us apart." Meredith looked at John.

"John-" She began to reprimand him, but he cut her off.

"I don't like him, Merry. There's something wrong about him." Alex stepped forward, jerking her hand from Shane's in the process.

"You don't know him! How can you say that?!"

"Alex calm-"

"No! I'm not going to calm down! You can't just say something like that about someone I care about and expect me not to get upset!"

"Don't yell at me young lady."

"I'm not young dad! I'm seventeen years old. In six months I'll be an adult, you're acting like I'm thirteen!" John paused and looked quickly at Shane before returning his eyes to Alex. "I don't know why you're freaking out, right now we're just trying to get to know each other." She added in a much quieter voice.

"Fine." John said simply before walking away, followed by Meredith. Alex turned and smiled at Shane.

"Sorry about that." Shane smiled back.

"So, you care about me huh?" Alex chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I do." They walked upstairs, said goodnight, and departed to their own rooms.

The next five days were arguably the best days of Alex's life. She didn't have many friends, in fact before the Gray's showed up she only had one, but she became fast friends with Nate and Jason. Shane though, her and Shane's relationship was different and they both knew it, although neither of them were entirely ready for it. Alex found out instantly how different the three boys were, but they still shared one of the strongest bonds Alex had ever seen. Just watching them interact made her smile, which she seemed to do a lot more when they were around. Alex and Shane had deliberately chosen to be 'friends' until they got to know each other longer and not talk about the few short days they had to do so, but that didn't mean they didn't think about it constantly.

Shane, Jason, Nate, and Alex were in the basement living room. Alex and Jason were each holding guitars, Shane held a tambourine, and Nate was holding a hairbrush as if it were a microphone. They were playing a game. Every round they would pass they instrument or 'microphone' in their hand clockwise and the person who held the tambourine would choose a song for the person with the hairbrush to sing, but whoever had the Les Paul acoustic got to choose the genre they were to sing it in. So since Shane had the tambourine he chose the song 'Nobody's Perfect', and since Jason held the Les Paul Nate had to sing it Opera style. Alex was laughing so hard she couldn't even play her guitar, not that she really needed to since Nate was singing Opera. She nearly peed her pants when Nate sang,

"I goootttaaaa wooooooorrrkk iiiiiit!" Nate finished the song and they switched items. It was Alex's turn to sing and Jason got to choose her fate, with the help of Nate. Alex groaned when she saw the evil smirk on Jason's face, he was going to get her back for making him sing 'Single Ladies' by Beyoncé and telling Shane not to change the genre. Jason whispered in Nate's ear, they shared a devious smile then Jason addressed Alex.

"You're gonna sing, 'I Will Carry You' by Clay Aiken." Alex grunted.

"You know how much I hate that song, it's so..." She cringed.

"And you're gonna go it scream-o style." Nate added. This made Alex smile. The boys didn't know about her screaming ability, not yet anyhow.

"Let's do this." And she did. She did it so well in fact that the boys were no longer sure she was singing, or rather screaming, a Clay Aiken song. After she finished she sat back down, well aware that all three of them were starring at her in shock.

"Wow…that was…" Nate murmured, unable to think of a word to describe what he just heard.

"Scarily well done?" Jason offered as an end to Nate's sentence. Shane and Nate nodded in agreement.

"I get in trouble for doing that in the house so if I get yelled at, I'm blaming you three."

"Two." Shane corrected. "I had nothing to do with that." Alex pushed the hairbrush toward Shane.

"Alright Mr. Innocent, let's see what you got."

"Bring it on." They played the game for a while longer, until it they had each sung twice more and it was once again Nate's turn. But Alex wasn't paying attention to Nate's singing, she had been sucked into her own thoughts and everything else was drowned out. "…Alexandra McClure!" Alex snapped out of her trance and looked over at Shane.

"Oh, sorry. Were you saying something?"

"Are you okay?" Alex nodded despite the thoughts that were still nagging at the back of her mind.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Shane didn't look like he bought it. Alex stood and set the guitar on the chair. "I'm gonna get some water, anyone want something?" She was answered with three consecutive shaking of heads. Alex walked upstairs, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and pressed it against her forehead as she leaned back against the counter.

"You sure you're alright?" The voice of Shane came from behind. Alex turned to face him, and brought the water bottle down from her head. She smiled weakly.

"How long are we going to pretend that you guys aren't leaving tomorrow? And that there isn't something more than friendship between us?" Shane sighed, unsure what to say. Alex bit her lip. "Sorry, I shouldn't say things like that. Act like it's your fault, but it's just hard. You guys are the closest friends I've ever had and I know that's really pathetic, but you're leaving tomorrow and I probably won't see you again."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said we'd never see you again? And trust me you're not pathetic. Let me tell you a little secret, between me, Nate, and Jason we only have three people that we consider actual friends. Maya, Demi, and you."

"But you're famous. Don't you know like, everyone."

"That's the point. We _are_ famous and that makes it harder to have friends that you can count on." Alex nodded in understanding.

"I don't want you to leave." She admitted quietly. Shane lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes for a moment, before pressing his lips on hers. He pulled away and smiled.

"I'll be right back, okay? Don't move." Alex gave him a questioning look, but remained still as Shane disappeared into the basement. A minute later he came back up with Jason and Nate, each of them wearing a goofy smile. "What's going on?" Alex couldn't hide the amusement in her voice or the slight smile that graced her lips.

"Well, we've decided…" Jason started.

"…that we'd each…" Nat added.

"…give you something to remember us by." Shane finished. Nate took something from around his neck and held it out in his fist. Alex took it and examined it in her hands.

"Nate, this is your dog-tag. Don't you kinda need it?"

"I have another one. I always carry two incase I loose one. So don't worry." Alex smiled and she caught some movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked over at Jason, only now noticing he was holding something behind his back. He brought it in front of him. Alex gaped; it was his 1954 Les Paul vintage acoustic. She took it gingerly and starred at it for a moment before looking up at Jason in disbelief.

"Jase, I can't take this." Jason simply smiled, enjoying her reaction.

"Think of it as a lender, until we see you again." Considering Jason treated said guitar like it was his baby, she took that as a promise. _'We WILL see you again, and soon.'_ Alex wanted to hug them right then, but it was Shane's turn.

"Alex…" Alex turned towards Shane and her smile grew. He held nothing in his hands that she could see, but just seeing him made her smile. Alex set the guitar carefully on the counter. Shane fidgeted with his hands and that's when she saw it. In between his index finger and thumb he held his purity ring.

"Shane…" He took a step closer to Alex and took her left hand in his.

"I want to give you this ring. If you're willing to wait for me." She bit her lip and nodded, unable to form any words. Shane's smile widened and he slipped the ring onto the thumb of her left hand. Alex kissed him with all the passion she could muster and Shane reciprocated equally. Nate cleared his throat loudly.

"We are still here you know." Shane didn't seem to care, but Alex pulled away and blushed, smiling awkwardly.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"Group hug!" Jason suddenly declared. Only it was more of a 'crush-Alex' hug. The three boys hugged with Alex in the middle and all four laughed together, then separated.

"Thanks guys."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The following day arrived too quickly for Alex. It was after lunch and the boys had already gathered their things together, even though their parents weren't supposed to pick them up until later that night. Alex was helping the boys carry their things downstairs, when the doorbell rang. "That's strange. Your parents shouldn't be here for a few more hours, and we weren't expecting anyone else." She thought aloud as she set the luggage in her hands by the base of the stairs.

"I'll get it!" Alex heard Meredith call from the adjoining living room. Moments later the sound of a car backfiring sounded twice through the house. The sound registered in Alex's mind, but she refused to believe it was actually what she heard. She rounded a corner so the front door came into view. A man and a woman, who looked vaguely familiar to Alex, stood in the gaping doorway. Meredith's body lied prone on the floor with two red-stained holes in her stomach. Dread and panic flooded her system, but immediately her instincts kicked in.

Alex soundlessly spun on her heels and darted back to the staircase, where Shane, Nate, and Jason still stood, unsure of what was happening. "Get upstairs, check the rooms, if there's anyone up there take them up to my study and lock the door. Don't open it unless I knock three times fast and twice slow." Alex spoke quickly in hushed tones.

"W-what's going on?" Shane asked

"I'll explain when I get up there, right now I need you to do what I said and do it quickly." Jason was the first to start up the stairs, recognizing the urgency in her voice. Nate and Shane followed moments after. Alex walked quickly toward the dinning room, peaked around the corner before stepping into the open. John and Meredith had prepared Alex for situations like this, they said it was imperative she knew what to do because of the people they worked with, but never did she think this would actually happen. Alex had learned to control her emotion if the need surfaced when she was young because her biological parents fed on fear. She darted across the room and silently crept into the kitchen. Alex snatched the pistol that was duck taped under the sink.

Would the couple who broke into the house have lingered in the living room? She peaked around the hall and didn't see anything, but then she heard another shot and her father agonizing yelp from the basement. They must have gone through the kitchen's basement entrance while she was talking to the boys. Alex crept down the first three steps, just enough to see over the banister. Her parents sat side-by-side on the couch. Her mom was alive! But the man and woman stood in front of them. John had a bullet-wound seeping blood in his arm, and Meredith's wounds continued to stain her white shirt.

"Where is our daughter? We know you have her!" The man demanded.

"I don't-"

"Where is Cecily?!" The woman screeched. John and Meredith remained silent. The man grew impatient and shot a bullet into each of their foreheads.

"Mom! Dad! No!" Alex yelled before she could stop herself, She immediately realized her mistake and darted from the basement stairwell. As she tore through the kitchen she felt a bullet tug at her leg, but paid no attention to it and kept running. Alex zigzagged through the rooms, to throw her followers off, then sped up the two staircases that led to her study.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Shane followed Jason to the upper floor, knowing something was direly wrong. They did as Alex said, finding Cecily, Gracie, and Jerome, before making them go up to the study. Nate locked the door behind them.

"What's happening?" Gracie asked.

"Where's Ally?" Cecily asked, nearly in tears. Shane starred at the door for a minute. None of them knew what was happening, they could only guess. Had he just imagined the sound that came from the front door? Hopefully. But then the sound came again and a minute later twice more, although it was more muffled than before. Then he heard it again. Shane shuttered.

"I'm going to find her." But Jason's hand on his shoulder momentarily distracted him. Then the sound that Shane had been praying for came from the door. _Taptaptap tap tap._ He nearly lunged for the door and swung it open. He was nowhere near prepared for what he saw. Alex held a gun in her hand, terror etched across her face, and blood streaming from a wound in her leg. But Shane barely had the chance to process the image, because Alex pushed him back, leapt into the room, and locked the door tight behind her.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alex turned to face the others and Cecily charged into her legs, hugging her tight. She winced due to the bullet wound and Cecily jumped back, gasping when she saw the blood on her little arm. Alex bent down and wiped the blood off of Cecily, then stood back to her feet. She scanned the room. "Where's Marty and Sherry?"

"They weren't upstairs." Nate answered. Everyone was staring at her with concern.

"What happened?" Shane asked. A sob erected from Alex's throat and Shane caught her in his arms before she collapsed to the ground. She cried into his shoulder. "Alex? Alex what's going on?" Shane soft voice brought her back to reality. She had to get them out of there! Alex pulled free of Shane's grasp and wiped her face as she jogged to the unblocked window.

"Cecily's parents are here. My mom and dad are dead and we all will be if we don't get out of here." She flung the window open with one hard thrust and peered out. The roof started only two feet beneath the window and it went on a slight angle, but then there was a two-story drop to the ground. She pulled back in and turned to the rest. "We have to get out of here, and quick. It's only gonna take so long for them to search the rest of the house. Jerome, do you think you can get the ground without hurting yourself?" Jerome walked past Alex and looked out the window.

"Yeah."

"Can I trust you not to run off? I'll need your help to get Cecily and Sherry out." He nodded. "Good. Go, quickly and quietly." Jerome slipped out the window and dangled off the roof, catching his feet on a window sill, he lowered himself and grabbed the nearby drainpipe and slid to the ground with ease. "Jason can you balance yourself on the drainpipe?" Jason nodded.

"I should be able to." Jason followed Jerome's path out the window, but steadied himself on the drainpipe. Alex directed Nate to stand by the edge of the roof and Shane outside the window. Alex handed Cecily to Shane through the window, who took her to Nate, who gave her to Jason, who lowered her into Jerome's arms. They followed the same process for Gracie, then Jason and Nate climbed down. Shane helped Alex through the window and they dropped into the grass together.

"I have to go back in for Sherry and Marty." Alex announced.

"No. You're safe, I won't let you go back in there." Shane protested.

"I can't leave them in there." Alex answered as she walked for the front door.

"Then I'm going with you." Alex turned back and faced the group.

"No you're not. I want all of you to get as far from the house as you can. Go to the police, but I don't want any of you coming back here."

"Alex…" Shane started to protest more, but she cut him off with a kiss.

"Go. Keep Cecily safe. Please, for me." Alex's eyes were pleading with him, but before he could respond, she disappeared through the front door.

"Come on, Shane. We need to get the police." Jason said reasonably. Shane shook his head.

"Someone needs to stay here. You and Jerome take the girls and get the police. Me and Nate will stay here." Shane mostly kept Nate with him, because he didn't trust himself to stay out of the house. Jason agreed.

**A/N: Bum bum bum!! What happens next? Is Alex okay? Will Shane stay out of the house? Tune in next chapter to find out :D REVIEW!**


	5. Rescue, Water Fight, and Sorrow

**A/N: Sorry it took a while to get this chapter up. i've been trying for 2 days but ff had some sort of glitch so yeah...R&R!!!**

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 4: Rescue, Water Fights, and Sorrow**

Alex crouched inside the door and listened intently, gun still in her hands. She heard them still fumbling around upstairs. She made her way toward the basement and slowly crept down the stairs. Alex caught a scream before it left her throat and covered her mouth with her hand. Both of her parents still sat slouched on the couch, with eyes wide open, but glazed over with death. Tears slid down her face as she forced herself past them, toward the bedrooms. Alex pushed the door on the left open and walked in.

"Marty? Sherry?" Alex heard soft whimpers emanating from the closet. She opened it slowly and Sherry stumbled out of the small space, followed by Marty. She hugged them both. "I need you two to be very quiet and only look at the ground when we go out there. Okay?" The kids nodded and Alex led them to the staircase, blocking their view of the couch.

She walked them up the stairs and peeked out the door. No one was in sight. She walked out gun first and motioned the other two to follow. Marty and Sherry hurried between Alex and the wall, protecting them from any surprises. They finally reached the door and Alex pushed them out in front of her. Shane and Nate were waiting for her and she was grateful for that. But suddenly a hand grabbed her hair from behind, yanking her back into the house.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Shane felt relief rush over him when the front door opened and he saw Alex follow the two kids out. But that relief was cut short when Alex was pulled back into the house and the door shut, blocking her from view. Without thinking, Shane went for the door, but Nate wasn't the only thing stopping him. It was locked. Shane beat the door with his fist, but it was no use. He jumped off the porch and ran for the back door. It was locked as well. He turned and began searching for an open window.

"Shane. Shane, stop." Nate had followed him with the children.

"I have to help her."

"And what are you gonna do? They have a gun."

"They have Alex." He answered, continuing his search for an opening.

"Jason will be back any minute with the police. Don't do anything stupid." Shane looked at Nate.

"Alex is in there with those people who killed…" Shane closed his eyes and clenched his jaw for a moment, not wanting to think what they could be doing to Alex. "She needs help _now_."

"And how are you going to help? What can you possibly do in there, besides get yourself and Alex killed?" Nate's words were harsh, but he knew if that didn't stop Shane, nothing would. Shane turned back toward the house, hiding his face from Nate.

"I have to try." He said quietly, before pushing at each window he could reach. Finally Shane found an window that wasn't locked, but of course it had to be the smallest one located above the kitchen sink. Shane squeezed through the small opening and managed to land soundlessly on the sink. He dropped to the floor and walked quickly around the counter. He heard cried coming from the basement, so he silently opened the door and crept down a couple steps until he could see over the banister. Alex sobbed into her parents slain bodies, begging them to come back. It took everything Shane had not to run down the steps and hold her in his arms.

"Sit." The man holding a gun demanded. Alex sluggishly moved to sit in a chair, but the man pointed his gun at the spot in between John and Meredith. "There." A stifled cry broke from Alex's lips as she settled between the two cold bodies.

"Where is my Cecily?" The woman asked. Alex's face visibly darkened.

"Kill me if you like, but I will _never_ tell you where she was taken. And you will _never_ find her." The man let out a frustrated roar and sent another bullet into John's body. Alex flinched slightly, but remained unbelievably calm.

"I swear if you don't tell me where she is, I'll kill you right now." Alex sneered bitterly and stood to her feet so the man's out-stretched gun was pressed against her chest.

"Do it! I dare you! Come on and shoot me! You already killed my parents. Cecily is safe and you will never get her back whether I'm dead or alive." The man moved the gun so it pointed at her head, finally Shane couldn't take anymore.

"No!" He said and raced down the stairs. The man spun around, gun now pointing at Shane.

"Shane, what are you doing here? I told you to stay outside!" Alex voice dripped with panic, but Shane could also hear a small amount of relief.

"I-I couldn't leave you." Shane stammered, starring down the gun barrel. The man smirked wickedly.

"Move, next to her." Shane shifted slowly until he was standing beside Alex, the man kept the gun trained on him the entire time. "Now if you don't tell me where my daughter is I'll kill him." Alex eyes widened with horror.

"You can't do that!" She protested.

"Oh, yes I can darling, and I will." A single tear streamed down Alex's cheek.

"No." She whimpered.

"Tell me!" The man roared.

"Don't say anything." Shane said.

"Ten…nine…" The man began to count down. Shane grabbed Alex's hand for support.

"I'll be okay, protect Cecily." He whispered into her ear.

"Six."

"Stop! I can't think!" Alex cried.

"Tell me where Cecily is." Tears flowed more freely down her face.

"I can't." Alex squeaked.

"Three…"

"Please don't." She pleaded.

"Two…"

"No!"

"One." A gun fired twice and Alex cried out.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Nate paced outside the window Shane had entered. _What's taking the police so long?_ Just as Nate thought it, he heard cars pull up, so he turned. Three police cars rolled into the wide drive way and two more parked in the grass. All the lights were on, but no siren blared, they didn't want to alert whoever was in the house. Nate took Marty's hand in his left and led the two children toward the police cars. Two officers met them half way. The woman led Marty and Sherry to safety, while the man talked to Nate.

"We were told there was another boy with you."

"Shane went into the house to help Alex. He got in through the kitchen window, since the doors are locked." The policeman nodded.

"Alright, I need you to go wait with the other two." Nate nodded and walked behind the police cars, where the policewoman had taken Marty and Sherry.

One officer squeezed through the same window Shane had and opened the front door to be followed in by back up. They swept each room on the mid-floor swat style, when they heard commotion coming from the basement. Because of the narrow stairwell, they stepped slowly down in single file. The officer at the front, seen the man pointing a gun at two teenagers and heard him counting. A very bad combination. Just as the man said 'one' the officer made the split second decision to shoot him, twice. The girl cried out from shock.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alex instinctively moved in front of Shane as a yelp escaped from her lips. She heard the gun go off, but it took a moment for her to realize the police were there and had shot the man. Her gaze flitted back to Shane and she turned around to hug him. "I'm so sorry." She felt guilty for almost getting him killed. Shane rubbed her back.

"Don't be." Shane couldn't believe she had stepped in front of him. She could've been killed. As Shane and Alex had their moment, the police handcuffed the man, who had been shot in the leg and arm, and the woman, who was unharmed but shouting profanities. Alex felt a hand on her shoulder and she pulled away from Shane.

"We'll need to get you the hospital." The officer said. Alex looked down at her thigh, remembering the bullet that had created that gash. It looked worse than before, all the running she had done probably opened it more, blood trickled all the way down her leg and pooled at her sock.

"I'm going with her." Shane said. The officer nodded.

Alex spent four hours in the ER with Shane, then they met everyone at the police station. As soon as they entered the building Cecily ran into Alex's arms. Alex held the whimpering two-year-old against her chest. "Shh. It's okay." She cooed. Cecily continued to hold onto Alex as Jason and Nate walked over, both of them looking extremely worried.

"You okay Alex?" Nate asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Fifty-three stitches weren't that bad."

"That's not what I was worried about." Alex set Cecily down.

"Did you call your dad and tell him he won't be able to pick you up at the house?" Alex asked, eager to change the subject. Jason nodded.

"Yeah, uh, there's been a change in plans actually. I told our parents everything that's going on and instead of finishing the tour, we're gonna go back home in California. And you're coming with us, Alex."

"I can't put you guys out like that-"

"We want to. John and Meredith were friends of ours. _You_ are our friend." Cecily hugged Alex's legs.

"Ally." The small girl cried, burying her face in Alex's uninjured thigh. Alex scooped her up in her arms again.

"I won't leave her." Jason nodded.

"Cecily can come to." Alex glanced around, noticing Marty, Gracie, Sherry, and Jerome weren't there.

"Where are the others?"

"Social services came already. They're finding a new home for them, but since your parents were in the process of adopting Cecily, they left her with you." Alex sighed a breath of relief and nodded.

"Alright, we'll have to go back to the house and gather our things." Shane squeezed her hand.

"Are you sure you want to do that? I mean you can just tell me what you want and-"

"Thanks Shane, but I think I can handle it." They arrived at the house ten minutes later. Police cars and two black SUVs crowded the front lawn and yellow crime scene tape crossed the porch. Alex murmured under her breath and walked up to the police officer who was guarding the door.

"I'm sorry Miss, you cannot enter."

"With all due respect officer, I live here. I think I have the right to go in." Before the young cop could answer, the front door opened behind him. A man in a dark blue jumpsuit and latex gloves stood in the doorway. He was extremely short for a full grown male, 5'2 Alex would guess considering she had to look down to meet his gaze.

"Is there a problem Officer Daniels?" The man asked, but his gaze never left the four teenagers.

"I need to get my stuff and _Officer Daniels_ won't let me in." Alex answered before the cop had the chance.

"I'm sorry but we can't do that. This is a crime scene."

"I understand that, and we won't interfere with any of that. We just need to get our things."

"I don't think you understand, we cannot let you in. You'd contaminate the scene, plus you don't want to see what happened in there."

"I _live_ here. Those are my _parents_ in there. And I _witnessed_ what happened to them. So please, just let me gather my things and we'll leave you in peace."

"You seem rather unemotional for just witnessing your parent's death, as you so claim. Are you a sociopath?" Alex felt the question strike deep in the pit of her stomach. Not because of his assumption to her emotional detachment, but because of the reference 'parents death'. She set her jaw in response.

"And you seem rather short. Do you work for Willy Wonka?" The man narrowed his eyes slightly, but pulled four pairs of latex gloves, identical to the ones he was wearing, from his pocket.

"The child must stay out here." Alex nodded and kneeled down to Cecily's level.

"I'll be right back okay? You stay here with this nice gentleman, he's a police officer." Cecily nodded and shuffled toward Officer Daniels.

"I'm Oscar Russell with the Detroit Forensics Team. You will keep those gloves on at all times, and you will not remove any items from rooms we haven't cleared yet. So far we have the third floor and the study finished. Ask before you move anything." The man instructed as he led them into the house. The boys' suitcase still sat at the bottom of the staircase, where they left them.

"These are our suitcases, can we take them?" Nate asked. Oscar shook his head.

"Those haven't been cleared yet. I'll have Laura search them while we look upstairs. Wait here and don't move anything." Oscar disappeared into the kitchen and came back a minute later to lead them upstairs. The boys went into the room they had been staying to make sure they hadn't left anything and Alex went to her room. She took two large suitcases from her closet and opened them on the bed. She packed up clothes, accessories, make-up, notebooks, and other odds-and-ends, then prepared a separate duffel bag for her shoes. Alex went up to the study to gather a few books.

She glanced around the room, knowing that it could very well be the last time she'd be in there. She had done pretty well holding her emotions at bay after watching her parents get murdered, but now the weight of that fact hit her like a ton of bricks. John and Meredith were gone, forever, and her life was about to change, permanently. Tears flowed quietly down her cheeks and Alex didn't bother to wipe them away. She sat in her over-sized chair with her head in her hands, tears streaming through the gaps between her fingers. Alex didn't even hear the door open or realize that Shane had entered the room, until she felt him sit next to her. Minutes passed, but Shane remained unmoving as he held Alex in his arms. He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry. But we have to go, my dad will be here soon." Alex nodded and stood on wobbly legs. She grabbed the books and her guitar, then walked back to her room without another word. Shane followed her and watched from the doorway as she finished packing. She had two large suitcases, a large duffel bag, two guitar cases, a messenger bag, and her rather large purse.

"I'm gonna go grab my keyboard." Alex said quietly.

"I'll get it, you finish up in here." Shane said. Alex zipped up all of her bags and did a quick scan of the room. Shane came back in a minute later, keyboard case slung over his shoulder. He chuckled lightly as he set it with the rest of her things. "You sure have a lot of stuff."

"I think I did pretty well, I mean this is my entire life." Shane nodded, she had a point. "Well, I think that's it. You wanna help me take this stuff down?" Without a word Shane put the keyboard back on one shoulder, her duffle bag on the other, and filled each hand with a suitcase, leaving Alex with the guitars, the messenger bag, and her purse. Alex walked behind Shane, following him out to the street where a white SUV was parked. Nate, Jason, and Mr. Gray were at the rear of the car loading the other luggage into the trunk. As they came closer to the vehicle, Alex could see Cecily's shadowed body through the tinted windows.

Alex loaded the two guitars into the car, keeping her messenger bag and purse with her. "Thank you Mr. Gray, you didn't have to do this." The middle-aged man gave her a sympathetic smile.

"It's our pleasure, and please, call me Paul." Alex nodded.

"Oh, there's a few more things I need to get from my shed." Shane squeezed her hand lightly.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be back in a few minutes." Alex jogged through the woods, taking her messenger bag with her. Once she arrived at her shack, she shoved all her papers and pencils into her bag along with the box of matches and a couple of the candles. She left the rest then jogged back to the car. Alex climbed in next to Shane. Cecily and Nate sat in the row in front of them and Jason sat in the passenger seat, while Paul drove. It was a two-hour drive to the airport and it was mostly silent, but really what can you say to a teenage girl who just watched her as parents were murdered. Shane's hand sat comfortingly on Alex's knee as she gazed out the window of the car until they reached the airport.

Alex climbed onto the asphalt and started to go through the motions. Wait in line, check in luggage, wait in another line, go through metal detector, walk to correct gate, sit, and wait. She hadn't uttered a word since Paul asked her if she wanted something to drink halfway through the drive, but her mind was going a million miles an hour. Alex didn't even notice when they were called to load the plane, Shane placed his hand on her shoulder. "It's time to get on the plane." Alex smiled her thanks and stuck her hands in her pockets as she followed the others to her seat. The fact that they were in first class barely registered, but she was glad to find that she had a window seat. Alex slowly moved into her seat and looked out the small circular window.

All she could see was the side of the airport and the terminal that connected to the plane. She felt someone sit beside her, but didn't bother to look. Alex smiled when she felt a familiarly large hand on her knee, Shane. She relaxed in her seat and glanced over at Shane. He looked concerned so she smiled weakly. "I'm fine." Alex reassured, but they both knew she was nowhere near 'fine'. Shane didn't voice his concerns and allowed Alex to drift into sleep as the plane rose in the sky.

She awoke with a yawn two hours later. Her head was resting on Shane's shoulder and his head was against hers. Alex didn't want to wake him up so she slowly moved her head and replaced it with a pillow. She stretched her limbs and looked out the window. Alex could see nothing but clouds beneath and blue that stretched on and up. She lost track of time gazing outside, but when she glanced back Shane was awake. "How long have you been up?" She asked and Shane shrugged.

"A few minutes. You?"

"A half-hour maybe. I'm not really sure." It was silent between the two for a minute and Alex let her eyes drift back to the window. The next three hours was filled with a combination of talking, silence, and sleeping, until they finally landed in California. As soon as they walked off the plane, bodyguards circled them, Alex hadn't even noticed them on the plane. Once they stepped outside the airport, reporters and paparazzi came at all sides with their microphones and flashing bulbs, asking all kinds of questions.

"_Is it true Connect 3 was in rehab for a week?"_

"_Who is the girl?"_

"_Is she a new girlfriend, Shane?"_

"_Is the child yours?"_

The Connect 3 entourage pushed through the crowd and loaded into a limo. Paul stayed behind to address the reporters.

"Connect 3 will be doing an interview to answer some questions tomorrow. That's all." Then he ducked into the limo and shut the door.

"You guys must get sick of that." Alex commented. They nodded as the limo purred to life. It was only a few minute drive to the house. Alex starred at the enormous house as she climbed from the car. Shane smirked at her reaction.

"Come on. Mom and Tyler want to meet you." He whispered and Alex walked forward with Cecily on her side. Shane had mentioned his seven-year-old brother Tyler to Alex, but not in detail. As they came closer to the front door a small boy came bounding out of the house, his loose curls flopping wildly. He ran right into Jason's awaiting arms.

"Jase!"

"Hey squirt, miss us?" Jason asked, half laughing. The boy wiggled out of Jason's arms and hugged Nate's legs. Nate chuckled and ruffled his hair. Lastly the boy narrowed his eyes at Shane and pointed his little finger.

"You ate my last popsicle!" Shane fiend hurt.

"I did no such thing." A smile spread on the boy's face and he tackled Shane into the grass. "Not the face!" Shane shrieked as the boy wrestled him. They both came up laughing and Shane glanced at Alex. "Alex, Cecily, this is our little brother." The little boy popped in front of Alex and stuck out his little hand.

"Hi, I'm Tyler." Alex smiled amusedly and took Tyler's hand.

"Well it's nice to meet you." Tyler tugged on her hand, motioning her down to his level. Alex crouched.

"I stored up some water balloons on the porch, wanna help me get my brothers?" Tyler whispered so the others couldn't hear. Alex smirked.

"I might just have to take you up on that." Alex stood and took Cecily's hand. Tyler darted back to the porch and Alex ran after him. Shane looked at Nate and Jason.

"What was that about?" They shrugged and walked up the driveway.

"NOW!" Tyler shouted. Tyler, Alex, and Cecily rained water balloons on the three unsuspecting boys. Alex grabbed the water gun, making sure to thoroughly drench Shane's hair. After they ran out of water, the boys stood there completely drenched, frozen in shock. Alex, Tyler, and Cecily burst into laughter.

"My hair." Shane whined, only causing the other three to laugh harder.

"Get 'em." Jason said, in a slightly scary tone. Their laughter stopped abruptly. Tyler grabbed Alex's hand and sped into the house, as Alex gripped Cecily's hand. Tyler led them into the kitchen where Paul waited with a middle-aged woman. He jumped behind the woman, still holding onto Alex's hand like a vice.

"They're gonna get us!" Tyler squealed as Nate, Shane, and Jason stumbled to a stop in the kitchen.

"Boys stop antagonizing your brother and our guests. And go change out of those wet clothes, you're making a mess." Alex suppressed the laughter that was building inside of her, due to the expression on the boys' faces. They were half way between disbelief and protesting, but the woman held up her hand silencing any oncoming excuses. "Now." Shane, Nate, and Jason turned and left the kitchen mumbling under their breath. The woman turned to Alex with a smile set on her lips and hand stretched out. "I'm Denise, those obnoxious boys' mother."

"Alex." Alex returned as she shook Denise's hand politely. Denise looked at Tyler and smiled.

"Why don't you show Alex the guest room? And try not to aggravate your brothers to death." She added the last part with a wink. There was no doubt in Alex's mind that this woman had something to do with the water balloons, and she knew that she was definitely going to like it there. Tyler took Alex and Cecily up some stairs and in a _huge_ bedroom.

"Whoa." Alex gasped at the largeness of the room, but it still had that cozy feeling.

"Do you want me to show you where Cecily is staying?" Alex smiled thankfully.

"That's very kind of you, but Cecily is going to be staying in the same room as me."

"Ok!" Tyler piped. "Can I show you the rest of the house?" Alex nodded. Tyler led them into the hall, when Alex felt two arms engulf her from behind.

"This is pay-back." It was then Alex felt water seeping through her shirt.

"Shane, get off. You're cold and wet."

"No. And I know." Alex attempted to break his grip, but Shane had remarkably strong arms. Tyler had continued to show Cecily the house, so Alex had no help.

"If you want to still have your manhood by tomorrow, I'd suggest letting me go."

"Ooh, someone's got a bug up their butt."

"More like an ape on their back." Shane tightened his arms around her.

"Ouch, that hurt." He whispered in her ear. Alex mind began to reel. Memories of her biological father saying those exact words to her when she attempted to defend herself flooded her mind.

"Get off me." She spoke through clenched teeth, trying to compose herself.

"Say please." Shane teased, unaware of her current state of mind.

"Get the bloody hell off me!" Alex shrieked. Shane nearly jumped back.

"Sorry…Alex…I…" But before Shane could put together a complete sentence, Alex dashed into the guestroom closing the door behind her. She sat on the bed against the headboard and hugged a pillow to her chest. Two soft knocks reverberated through the door. "Alex? Can I come in?" She didn't answer, but the door opened and Shane sat on the edge of the bed in front of her. He rested a hand on her knee and her eyes flitted back and forth in no particular direction.

"He-he used to say that…before he'd…" Alex looked at Shane, meeting his gaze. "Sorry for freaking out."

"No, don't be sorry. I'm sorry for making those memories come back."

"Can I just be alone right now?" Shane smiled sadly and nodded. He stood to his feet and kissed her forehead before walking out of the room. As soon as Alex heard the door click shut the tears started. John and Meredith were dead, and that fact was finally beginning to sink in. She'd never see them again and the fact that the last time her and John were together was spent fighting didn't help. She let the sorrow consume her as sobs racked through her like an unwelcome force, pushing her down into the thick blanket and plush pillows.

**A/N: CLICK DE GREEN/WHITE BUTTON!!! :D REVIEW!**


	6. Learning

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 5: Learning**

Alex heard the door open again, but she was unsure of how long Shane had actually been gone. A hand--much smaller than Shane's--began to rub circles on her back and a comforting motherly voice spoke over her stifled cries. "I'm so sorry dear." Alex knew it was Denise, but couldn't bring herself to acknowledge her presence. "I was about your age when my parents died, I'm sorry you have to go through the same loss I did." Those words created a connection between Denise and Alex that was unexplainable. Denise remained by Alex's side and comforted her in a way words could not, until Alex sat up and hugged her.

"Thank you." She mumbled and sniffled as she pulled away from the woman.

"No problem, hon. Now come on, you missed dinner last night, you must be starving."

"Dinner? Last night? I was in here that long?" Denise nodded. "How about I meet you down there? I need to use the bathroom." Alex followed Denise out of the room and Denise pointed down the hall.

"It's the second door on your left." Alex walked to the bathroom and Denise went in the opposite direction. Alex took care of her business and cleaned up as best as she could, then wobbled downstairs. Shane met her at the bottom of the staircase.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked as he felt her cheek with the back of his hand. Alex smiled lightly and nodded her head.

"A little."

"Yeah, my mom has a way with making people feel better." Shane glanced over his shoulder, then back at Alex. "Come on, my mom's making pancakes and bacon." He took her hand and led her to the kitchen, pulling out a chair for her before grabbing two glasses and seating himself. He poured orange juice from a glass pitcher and Alex whispered her thanks as she took a sip. "Everyone else already ate, I told mom I'd wait for you to come down." Shane's face looked concerned and Alex knew he could tell that she had been crying hard last night. He was looking at her intently and his mouth opened to say something, but he was cut off when Denise set a plate in front of each of them.

"Breakfast." She announced simply, before disappearing from the kitchen.

"You sleep okay?" Alex asked, making polite conversation.

"Not really. You?" Alex shrugged, she wasn't sure if she slept at all.

"Okay, I guess." They ate mostly in comfortable silence until Alex caught him starring at her. She only caught his eyes for a moment before he diverted them, but she could see all the questions floating around in his head. "What is it?" She asked and Shane looked back up at her.

"Hmm?"

"You want to ask me something. What is it?"

"There's just so much I don't know about you."

"You know _a lot_ about me."

"I know a lot about your past and stuff, but I don't know that much about _you_. Like your favorite color or your dreams for the future." Alex smiled, she hadn't met someone who genuinely wanted know _her_ in…ever.

"Well I like dark purple and red. And I want to do what my parents did, at least something similar. Taking care of abused children and whatnot. So what about you?"

"My favorite color is green and I'd like to continue with my music, but eventually I'd like to settle down. Have a family." Alex tilted her slightly. She usually read people pretty well and Shane hadn't stuck her as the kind to settle down. "What?" Shane asked, referring to her expression.

"Nothing, you just never stuck me as the 'settle down' type." Shane simply nodded, but Alex seen something more. "Sorry." She apologized.

"For what?" Alex paused, unsure of how to explain.

"Do you know what a micro-gesture is?" Shane's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"No." He stated more as a question, not sure why that mattered.

"Well, you see when I said that your face showed hurt for maybe a fifth of a second. A micro-gesture. It's something most people don't see, but I've always seen them." Shane nodded slowly, but he still looked confused.

"So you can tell how someone's feeling, even when they try to hide it?" Alex nodded.

"Sometimes even when they don't quite know how they're feeling."

"That's cool."

"Not really. It's probably one of the main reasons I never had any friends. People don't usually like it when you can tell if they're lying and I was too young to realize that I saw things differently than others."

"You can tell when people are lying too?" Shane didn't sound nervous, just curious.

"Yep. I try to ignore it but it's like telling someone to ignore the piano that's about to fall on their head. Nearly impossible, human instincts tell you to move, just like my instincts tell me to look for emotion."

"Wow."

"Yeah, but I've learned to keep my observations to myself most of the time." Alex managed to change the subject after a few minutes and they began talking about their likes and dislikes, hobbies, and random facts about themselves. Alex laughed and sipped her orange juice as Shane told her about the time he had to get stitches in his left hand.

"-I landed on my feet, but my hand brushed against the garage door track, sliced it open." Alex examined Shane's palm in her hand, tracing over the scar with her fingertips.

"I have quite a few scars too, but most of mine weren't my own doing." Alex joked lightly, still tracing his scar, then she brought her hand up to her lips and kissed over the mark. "You ought to be more careful." She looked up at Shane to find his gaze intense on her, but then he smiled.

"You're one to talk." Alex was about to debate his comment, then she remember the stitches in her leg, he had a point. So instead, she poked her tongue out at him. Shane chuckled in return.

"Way to act like a two-year-old." Shane joked.

"You're one to talk, Mister _my hair!_" Alex whined/shrieked the last two words, mimicking Shane's reaction to the water fight. Shane narrowed his eyes.

"Touché."

"Where's Cecily?" Alex asked after a moment of silence.

"She was playing Candy Land with Tyler and Jason in the basement."

"She loves that game, beats me half the time." Shane smiled and picked up the plates from the table.

"Do you want a tour of the house?" He asked as he placed the dirty dishes into the sink. Alex nodded.

"Yeah." Shane showed her through the floor they were on, starting with the kitchen and making their way outside in the backyard. "You have a pool?!" Alex exclaimed.

"Yup. It comes in handy with California's weather." Shane led Alex upstairs, showing her room-by-room, then took her down to the basement. Paul and Denise's room was down the hall and a living room area sat in front of them. Tyler, Cecily, and Jason were sitting in the middle of the floor, playing Candy Land. Cecily jumped up and hugged Alex.

"Morning Ally!"

"Good morning." Alex smiled through her reply.

"You wanna pway Candy Land wif us?" Cecily asked.

"Not right now, hon. Shane's giving me a tour of the house."

"Okay." Cecily chirped before running back to where she came from. Shane showed Alex the other half of the basement, where the studio was located. Alex's eyes traveled around the room in amazement.

"This. Is. Awesome." Shane smiled at her reaction.

"Glad you like it."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Don't you dare." Alex spoke through clenched teeth. It had been a week since she arrived at the Grays' house and she was at a stand off with Shane by the edge of the pool.

"I never did get you back for the water gun incident." Shane smirked.

"Shane…" Alex warned, but he ignored her and pulled her into his arms.

"Alex." She was lost in his embrace, forgetting the fact she was standing on the edge of a pool.

"Hmm?" Alex answered lazily.

"Hold your breath." Before she had the time to register his statement Shane jumped into the pool, pulling her with him. Alex resurfaced after Shane, coughing and sputtering.

"You are dead." She glowered after she had caught her breath. Shane laughed, but Alex lunged at him through the water. Shane turned and tried to swim, but Alex jumped on his back, successfully pushed him back underwater. When he came back up she splashed him and he splashed back. Alex floated on her back and kicked water at Shane, but he grabbed her foot and pulled her into him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, so her arms were locked at her sides keeping her from splashing.

"Now we're even." Shane smirked, but Alex didn't take notice of that. All she was noticing were their bare stomachs pressed together, his bare chest against her clothed one, his leg between hers, his lips only centimeters away. Alex's breath hitched in her throat and she caught his eye, he had noticed their position as well. Alex smirked, now it was her turn for payback. She bit her lip and wiggled her hips, supposedly trying to get away, but she completely expected the grunt she heard from Shane.

"Shane." Alex whispered sensually. His eyes fluttered shut and Alex smirked, his grip had loosed. "Payback's a bitch." She said, before swimming away and climbing out of the pool. Alex grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, when she felt two arms encase her from behind

"You're evil. You know that?" Alex turned in his arms.

"Yup." She smirked. Shane groaned.

"You're gonna be the death of me."

"A little teasing never killed anyone."

"Fine, you're gonna drive me to the brink of insanity."

"Now that I can do." Alex turned and walked inside the house, swaying her hips slightly. Shane followed her into the kitchen, where his mom was making lunch.

"Mommy, Alex is torturing me." Shane whined. Denise smiled, looked at Alex, and winked.

"That's a girl's prerogative. Now go wash up for lunch."

"B-b-b-but…" Shane stammered.

"_Now_ Shane." Shane huffed and stormed towards the stairs.

"Wow, I've never seen that side of him." Alex laughed.

"And what would that be, hon?" Denise asked.

"The six-year-old temper tantrum side." Denise smiled and waved her hand dismissively.

"That's just for show, what you really have to watch out for is his ego. Shane's my son and I love him dearly, but all the fame goes to his head sometimes." Alex chuckled.

"Well, I'm gonna go change."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alex was amazed by the sheer happiness she felt. It had only been six months since her parents' deaths, but the Gray's had made quick work of making her feel more than welcome. Cecily had really grown to love the Gray's as well, she even gave them each a nickname. Shane was biggy, which originated after he took to calling Cecily 'shorty'. Denise was Mimi and Paul was Peepaw, because that's what she called her grandparents (Alex thought it was adorable that Cecily thought of them as grandparents). Nate she simply called Natey, or if she was mad at him Natanial Jerrwee Grway. Tyler was often referred to as 'the big fat meany', but usually she just called him Ty. And Jason was Birdie, although no one was sure why.

Alex awoke to the sound of rain against the window. She pulled on a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt and slipped a hoody over her shoulders as she walked downstairs. The clock read 5:57, so she knew everyone else would still be asleep. Alex stepped out into the crisp morning air, it was at most 60 degrees outside, but living in Michigan most of her life she was used to those temperatures. She walked out of the covered porch and stood in the midst of the downpour. That is where she received most of her inspiration, nature. Alex never really cared for big cities, she preferred green countryside over gray buildings. Lucky for her the Gray's had a nature park behind their house.

"What are you doing?" She turned and faced the porch to see Shane standing there in his wife beater and sweat pants.

"Enjoying mother nature at her finest!" Alex yelled over the rain.

"You're gonna get sick."

"You sound like my mother, she never appreciated the rain." Shane shook his head.

"I swear you never cease to amaze me." Alex looked up as a bolt of lightning streaked across the dimly lit sky. Thunder rumbled a few moments later. "We should go inside." She smirked defiantly.

"A little rain never hurt anyone."

"Yeah, but lightning has."

"I still have a good ten minutes before the storm gets close enough for lightning to strike."

"Now how do you know that?"

"Easy, I just calculated the time between the lightning and thunder and converted it into distance, then of course noting the wind factor, added up how much time it would take for the storm to hit." Shane gave up and walked out to her.

"And how do you know how to do that?"

"My dad wanted to be a mathematician and worked as weatherman, before he switched his major to business. Taught me things a public school could never." Shane met her in the middle of the yard, already soaked to the bone.

"Sounds like John was a pretty cool guy." Alex nodded.

"He was. We didn't always see eye to eye, but he never treated me as anything less than his biological daughter." They stood there for a minute in the rain, when Shane broke their short silence.

"I don't get it. What's so great about being in the rain? It's like taking a cold shower with your clothes on." Alex smiled.

"Most people don't understand my fascination with rain. It's hard to explain, unless you feel the same way about it. It's like this unstoppable force. No one can tell it when to start or when to stop. It can cause destruction or life, but no one can control which. If you listen to it, really listen, it never sounds the same twice. It's simply incredible." Alex said it all with such a twinkle in her eye that Shane couldn't help but smile. He tucked a couple wet strands of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Alex blushed.

"I just like the rain."

"Well, there is something I've always wanted to do in the rain," She tilted her head slighting, in a questioning manner

"And what's that?" Shane grabbed Alex by the hips and gently pulled her flush against his body.

"This." He whispered before covering her lips with his own. Up until that moment they had remained friends who flirted with each other now and then, in fact their lips hadn't touched since that week at Alex's house. Shane only intended it to be a short soft kiss, but something about the rain shot up the intensity. Alex entwined her fingers into Shane's wet ebony locks and Shane wrapped his arms tightly around her slender waist. Lightning lit up the sky once again and thunder soon followed, but neither Shane nor Alex seemed to notice. But when Alex felt his tongue bush against her bottom lip, she jumped back, wrenching herself from his grasp. "Sorry…I…" Shane stammered.

"No, it's okay… I'm just not ready for _that_." Alex had told Shane in detail what her biological father did to her, so he understood why she reacted like that. Kissing her at that previous moment was a risk, but he took it and luckily, she wanted it as well. But then he pushed his luck too far. _Stupid male instincts._ Shane cursed himself silently. Once again lightning split the gray sky and thunder rumbled louder than before.

"We should go in." Shane said as he glanced up at the sky. Alex agreed this time and they jogged up the porch. "I'll get us some towels." Shane said as Alex closed the front door behind them. He came back a minute later and draped one of the towels around her shoulders.

"Thanks." Alex smiled and pulled the towel tightly around herself.

**A/N: This chapter was very filler-y, but we're working up to the good stuff :D REVIEW!**


	7. Time Ticking By On A Faceless Clock

**A/N: Hey guys, hope you like this chapter :) R&R!**

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 6: Time Ticking By On a Faceless Clock**

Alex was happier than ever. Looking at Cecily, you would've never guessed she had come from an abusive home. And Shane, Nate, and Jason had finally found someone they could put their full trust in. Everything was going great, better than great. That was until one afternoon. Alex was flipping through the TV channels, simply out of boredom, when a news station caught her eye. A picture of the man who had murdered her parents flashed across the screen and beneath it read, _Murder Suspect, Carl Stuart, Escapes_. Alex gasped and the remote fell from her hand.

"No!" Her voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

"Whatcha watching?" Alex picked up the fallen remote and casually continued to flip through the channels. After a few clicks, she flicked the TV off and turned on the couch to look at Nate, who was sipping on a sugar-free red bull.

"Nothing's on." Alex shrugged, controlling the emotions raging inside her.

"Bored?"

"Extremely."

"Care to hear a few new songs?" Alex nodded.

"Sure. I'll meet you down in the studio in five." Nate agreed and walked from the living room. Alex turned back on the news station just in time to hear one of the anchors reading off a note Carl had apparently written on the toilet paper in his cell before escaping.

"_I will find my daughter, no one can hide from me, and I will kill anyone who stands in the way."_

Alex shuttered and turned the TV off once again. She walked down to the studio and found all three boys waiting for her. They played three freshly written songs for her, but she was too consumed with her own thoughts to hear them. "What's wrong Alex?" Shane's gentle voice brought her back to earth.

"Sorry, just a little preoccupied. Do you guys mind if I go take a nap?" They each shook their head, but Alex stood before she had a chance to hear their answer. She went up to her room, but didn't plan on sleeping. Alex paced the length of the room enough times to ware a hole in the carpet. An hour passed, maybe two, when she finally made her decision. She was going to take Cecily and run. With all the media the Gray family was surrounded by, Alex knew they couldn't hide from_ him_, and when he found them, he'd kill them, just like her parents.

She wouldn't let that happen, she couldn't. Alex packed light, only taking the amount of bags she could carry in one trip. She carefully placed them out of sight, so nothing looked out of place. Luckily Cecily's things were in the same room, so she didn't have to tote luggage from one room to another. They would leave early in the morning. Alex walked downstairs as if nothing were different, she couldn't let anyone know she was leaving or to where. It would only put all of them in more danger. She noticed it was dark out and she glanced at the clock, 10:00.

Alex hadn't realized she'd been in her room for so long. Cecily was asleep on the couch, resting on Jason's lap. Alex smiled. "Where are the other two?" She asked, wanting to see them one more time. Jason looked up at her with sad eyes, and continued to stroke Cecily's hair.

"Why are you leaving?" Alex wasn't sure how he knew, but there was no point into trying to hide it.

"Because we have to. I can't tell you where, and I don't know if we'll be back." The tears Alex had been struggling to keep locked in streamed down her cheeks. "I'm gonna miss you Jase." Jason shifted Cecily onto the couch without waking her and stood, pulling Alex into one of his 'big brother hugs'. "Does anyone else know?" Jason pulled back and shook his head.

"No. Shane's in his room. I know you'll wanna say goodbye. Nate's in his room too." Alex smiled weakly.

"Thanks." She felt Jason place something in her hand. It was a bulge of money, held together with a golden money-clip. "Jase, I…"

"Take it, Alex. It's not much, but it should get you far enough to redeem the inheritance your parents left." She smiled, holding back more tears as she gave him another hug. Alex pulled back and scooped Cecily into her arms. "I'm gonna put her to bed. We'll be gone by morning. Good bye Jason." A tear rolled down Jason's face as Alex walked back up the stairs. She placed Cecily on the bed and covered her before walking into the hall. Alex went to Nate's room first, knowing it would be slightly less difficult than talking to Shane. She knocked lightly and was happy to find him still awake.

"Come in." Nate sounded deep in concentration. Alex pushed the door open and he looked up from his notebook. "Hey, you feeling better?"

"Much." Alex lied.

"Good. Something up?"

"Nah, just wanted to say goodnight, and thanks."

"Thanks? For what?"

"Oh you know, being a good friend." Alex smiled and Nate smiled back.

"No problem. See you in the morning." Alex inwardly winced.

"Yeah, morning." She mumbled and closed the door. She sighed and walked down the hall to Shane's room. It took all the courage she could muster just to knock on the door. The door creaked open, revealing Shane with disheveled hair and only wearing boxers.

"Alex? Is everything okay?" He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Alex couldn't find any words so she kissed him, long and hard. By the time Alex pulled away, Shane was fully awake and she had walked into his room, shutting the door behind her. "Alex, what…"

"Make love to me Shane." Shane's jaw nearly hit the floor. He couldn't deny the feeling that she aroused in him, but he had never seen her so blunt.

"W-what?" Alex blushed and looked down.

"I want to _feel_ your love for me." She looked him directly in the eye, grabbing his hand and placing it on her head. "I know it here." She dragged his hand to her heart. "And I feel it here." She guided his hand with hers over her breasts. "But I want to feel it here." Down her stomach. "Here." And to her most intimate part. "And here." Shane sucked in a breath and pulled his hand back.

"Alex…" She took the way his eyes darkened as encouragement and stepped closer, tracing her fingers over his muscled chest and abdomen. Alex found every scar or mark and kissed it in the most sensual way, before working her way up his jaw.

"I love you Shane." She said between kisses.

"I love you too." His voice was low with arousal. Alex backed up slightly and looked him in the eye.

"Then show me." Shane's hands, which had been lying idly at his sides, moved to Alex's hips. He trailed them up her sides, taking her shirt with them and Alex lifted her arms so he could remove it completely.

Alex starred at the wall as Shane's breath became deeper, signaling he was asleep. Her body fit perfectly in his and his arm was wrapped protectively around her waist. It was almost 5 a.m. and she had planned to leave before dawn. Exhausted, Alex rolled to her other side so she was facing Shane. His hair was even more out of place and a thin layer of sweat still covered his body. She smiled sadly and gently tugged her fingers through his hair. Alex moved completely from his touch, immediately missing his warmth, and stood. She gathered her clothes and began to redress.

After she was fully clothed, she picked up Shane's clothes, folded them neatly, and set them on the corner of his bed. "Where are you going?" Shane's voice startled her and she looked at him, smiling gently.

"I should go back to my room." She walked around to Shane's side of the bed and kissed his temple. "Go back to sleep." After she was sure he did, Alex grabbed a piece of paper and jot down a quick note. She couldn't stop the tears that dripped onto the paper as she set it on his end table and took his ring off her finger. Alex was going to leave it for him, but then changed her mind and slipped it back on her finger. She grabbed two of his shirts that had been lying on the floor and hugged them to her chest, taking them with her as she stepped from his room. Alex quietly walked into her room, where Cecily was sleeping.

She tucked the two shirts into her suitcase, before gently waking Cecily. "Cecily, darling, wake up." She stirred, but didn't wake. "We're gonna go on a little adventure, baby. Come on." Cecily sat up and sleepily rubbed her eyes.

"Where are we goin' Ally?"

"We're gonna go on vacation. Just you and me."

"Will we come back?" Alex smiled sadly.

"I don't know. We might be gone a long time. Now come on, we gotta get going." Cecily nodded and got up obediently. Alex called a taxi service, she gathered everything and walked Cecily downstairs. She had told the taxi to meet her down the street, so she didn't raise any suspicion.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Shane woke late the next day, he expected Alex to be lying next to him, but then remembered she had gone back to her room. He stood and pulled on his clothes, when something caught his eye. A piece of paper sat on his nightstand and even from a distance he could tell it was in Alex's handwriting. Shane smiled and lifted the paper. His smile fell as he read.

_Shane,_

_I love you, I love you so much and it pains me to do this, but I have to leave. He escaped, Shane. The man who killed my parents. He threatened to kill anyone to get Cecily back and I could let him do that to your family. I couldn't let him do that to you. So I took Cecily. You won't find us, please don't try, it'll only bring more danger to you. I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to tell you myself, but I just wasn't strong enough to face you._

_Love Always,_

_Alex_

_P.S. Tell everyone not worry, I'll be fine._

Shane starred at the piece of paper for a long time. Examining the tear marks and the spots where her sweaty hands had smudged a few words. He stood and rushed downstairs. His whole family was in the living room with the news on. Every one of them looked grim, Tyler had his face buried in Denise's shoulder. Shane gazed at the television. A picture of the man who had killed Alex's parents, who had almost killed Alex was on screen. Rage flashed up Shane's body, but he focused on what the reporter was saying.

"…_if you see this man, contact your local police immediately. He is armed and very dangerous. Bill, back to you."_ Paul clicked off the TV.

"Alex really left." Shane glanced down at the note in his hands, he was hoping it was some sort of sick joke. Everyone turned and looked at Shane, no one had heard him enter the room.

"Did she tell you?" Paul asked. Shane shook his head.

"No, she left me this." He handed the note to Paul.

"Just like Alex. Willing to make any sacrifice for the ones she loves." Paul stated as he studied the paper in the same way Shane had. Paul let out a forced laugh. "And worrying about everyone but herself."

"Where do you think she went?" Nate asked after reading the note himself. Shane shrugged and laughed bitterly.

"You know Alex. If she's really determined to stay hidden, she's probably in a little town of 200 people with a different name and different hair color."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alex hated her freshly dyed red hair. She hated trying to find a job in the god-forsaken town her and Cecily had settled in. She hated being away from the Grays and Shane—especially Shane. But above all, she hated the man who had turned her life upside down. It had been a month since Alex was forced to take Cecily and run and the stress of it all was making her physically sick. Mornings were the worst, but Alex made herself stay up no matter how many times she vomited. She had to take care of Cecily.

After two weeks of dealing with the frustrating illness, Alex decided to drive three hours to the nearest clinic (seeing as there was only one doctor in town and he gave her the creeps). Cecily stayed with two friendly nurses as Alex was looked over by Doctor Williams. A couple hours and multiple tests later the doctor walked back into Alex's examination room wearing a smile.

"I have some wonderful news." He said cheerfully.

"There's nothing wrong with me?" Alex asked, slightly confused at his joy.

"Nope, you're as healthy as a horse and you're pregnant."

"W-what?" The doctor smiled gently.

"In about eight months you'll be bringing a child into the world." Alex felt her world begin to spin. _A baby? I'm pregnant?_ The doctor clearly didn't sense her distress and continued talking. "I'll write a prescription for a few bottles of pre-natal vitamins. We have a pharmacy downstairs, if you don't mind hanging out for an hour, they'll fill it there. Also, I'd like you to schedule an ultra-sound for two months from now with one of our receptionists on your way out."

Alex nodded as he handed her a few slips of paper. She managed to mutter a simple thanks before walking downstairs to the pharmacy and handing them her prescription. She retrieved Cecily from the nurses, before setting her next appointment and walking back down to the pharmacy's waiting area. Alex was too preoccupied to actually pay attention to what was going on around her, she was simply going through the motions. Cecily chatted happily half the ride home, then fell asleep and Alex had some time to think about things. The baby was Shane's, it was impossible for it to be anyone else's, but she was having a hard enough time taking care of Cecily as it was. How was she going to do it while pregnant? And what about after the baby's born, can she take care of two children by herself?

By the time she pulled up to her house, Alex had convinced herself. She could do it, she wasn't sure how, but she was going to. She _had_ to. Alex picked Cecily up and carried her into the house, laying her on her own bed. She turned to leave the room, when Cecily's soft tired voice stopped her. "Ally, what did the doctor say?" Alex walked back to the bed and kissed Cecily's forehead.

"We'll talk in the morning, okay? Go to sleep." Cecily turned over and Alex left the room. She walked out on the porch and leaned against a wooden pole. Her resolve began to crumble with the cool night air and tears began to leak down her cheeks. _I'm not ready for this. I need to find a job, I can't work while having two kids and no one to watch them._ While Alex did have the money her parents left her, she was determined to use as little of it as possible. She had already spent enough with buying the small house, the old Ford pick-up truck, and day-to-day expenses for the last month.

Tears began to fall more freely as she glanced down at her left hand. Shane's ring glinted in the porch light and a sob broke from Alex's mouth. She slid down the crude pole so she was seated on the steps. More tears fell. "How can I do this without you?" She whispered.

"Miss, are you alright?" Alex jerked her head up to see an older woman standing a few feet away. Alex scoffed bitterly, not caring if it was a total stranger.

"No." The woman took a step closer.

"Do you mind if I have a seat?" Alex shrugged and looked down at her hand, twisting the ring around her finger. "Was he your husband?" Alex did look up, didn't answer, she just sat there. "I'm sorry, too personal. My name's Anna."

"Alexandra." She replied without looking up.

"Would you like to talk about it, Alexandra?" Alex looked at the kind and wise woman with tears in her eyes.

"He was going to be my husband." She looked back down at his ring on her finger and laughed bitterly at the irony. "This is his purity ring. Now I'm carrying his child and I can't go back."

"You still love him."

"Till the day I die." Anna pulled Alex into a half hug.

"I'm sorry darlin'." Alex sat in the woman's warm embrace for a while, then pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"You must think I'm an idiot."

"Not at all. It's getting kinda late, but I'll tell you what, I live right next door. My grandkid will be visiting from out of town tomorrow, why don't you come over with that precious little girl of yours."

"How did you know about Cecily?"

"You've lived here for a month, honey. I've seen you two around. Now go get some rest, I'll be expecting you around eleven tomorrow." Alex smiled.

"Thank you, Anna." They stood and as Anna walked back toward her house, Alex went inside.

The following morning Alex awoke with Cecily sitting on her stomach. She was about to tell the child 'good morning' when a wave of nausea set over her body. Alex quickly maneuvered Cecily onto the bed and ran to the bathroom, before purging her guts into the porcelain bowl. She wiped her mouth and sat back on her haunches, but another wave of nausea coursed through her.

"Ally? Are you okay?" Alex pulled away from the toilet and smiled at Cecily.

"Yeah baby, I'm fine." She stood to her feet and gargled some mouthwash, before lifting Cecily in her arms and sitting down on the bed. "I have something _very_ exciting to tell you."

"We can go back home?" Alex frowned.

"No honey."

"Oh. Then what is it?" Alex smiled lightly.

"You're going to have a little brother or sister." Curiosity shown in Cecily's eyes.

"How?"

"I'm pregnant." Alex answered softly. Cecily frowned in confusion. "What's the matter?"

"But you can only have a baby if you're married." Alex smiled at her innocence.

"Sometimes girls can have a baby when they're not married."

"Why?" Alex chuckled nervously, this wasn't a line of questioning she was prepared to handle.

"You see honey, when two people love each other _very_ much—"

"Is Uncle Shane the daddy?" Alex nodded.

"Yes he is." It was silent for a moment and Alex was content to hold Cecily in her arms, but Cecily still had more questions.

"Ally, how did you get pregnant?"

"Uh…um…" Alex stuttered, unsure how to answer. "Well… I'll explain when you're older—much older. Now it's time to get ready, we're going to visit some new friends today." Cecily smiled wide.

"New friends?" Alex nodded.

"Yep, now come on, let's get you ready." By the time ten forty-five rolled around Alex and Cecily were finished getting ready. Just in time too, Alex's morning sickness had gone away—for the most part—by then. They walked the short distance to the next house over and Alex placed Cecily on her hip, then knocked on the door. Anna answered.

"Right on time. Come in, come in." Anna stepped aside and ushered them into her cozy home.

"Cecily, this is Ms. Anna."

"Hello there little one." Anna said warmly. Cecily wiggled from Alex's hold.

"Hi Ms. Anna. I'm gonna be a big sister!" She stated proudly. Alex was slightly embarrassed, but Anna chuckled softly.

"How grand. Erik is playing in the other room, would you like to meet him?" Cecily nodded. As the two children played in the living room, Anna and Alex sat in the kitchen, watching them and talking.

"How old is he?" Alex asked, referring to Erik.

"He'll be four the end of spring." Alex smiled.

"They seem to be getting along well." They watched Erik and Cecily play together for a moment, before Anna broke the momentary silence.

"Is he her father as well?" Anna gestured to Cecily then to Alex's stomach.

"Oh, Cecily isn't really _my_ child. Or his for that matter." Anna gave her a questioning look. "It's a long story.

"We have all day sweetie." Alex smiled weakly, wondering where to start, but she realized it would be easiest to start the day of her parent's death. By the time Alex had finished telling Anna her story, Cecily was getting hungry and it was past two. Alex silently cursed herself for not thinking to feed her before they left.

"I'm sorry Anna, we need to go. Cecily's getting hungry and—"

"Oh, it's not a problem, dear. Erik and I have yet to eat as well. You two can join us for lunch." Alex smiled and accepted her offer gratefully with a nod. Anna made Alex stay out of the kitchen with the kids so she could prepare lunch. An hour later Alex walked into the dinning room and looked at all the food laid out on the table in amazement.

"I appreciate you letting us stay for lunch, but you really didn't need to go through all this trouble."

"Nonsense, this wasn't any trouble." The food was as good as it looked and Alex defiantly ate enough for two, Anna made sure. Alex and Anna cleaned up lunch/dinner as Erik and Cecily went back into the living room to play.

"Thanks so much for this, Anna." Anna smiled that knowing smile of hers.

"It was my pleasure."

**A/N: Alright so I hope you guys don't hate me :) I sorta stole Anna from the movie No Reservations lol. but let me know what you thought, and hopefully we'll get Shane back soon REVIEW!**


	8. You Found Me

_Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain._

**Chapter 7: You Found Me**

Two years. It had been over two years since Alex had left the Gray's house and never looked back. Thomas was just going on eighteen months and Cecily was four and a half. Alex loved them both more than she thought she was capable of, but she missed being _loved_. Not that Cecily and Thomas didn't love her, because they did, but in the way a mother needs to be loved, not the way a _woman_ needs to be loved. She'd look at Thomas and see the same mischievous smirk that Shane used to give her. He had the same hair and nose as him too. Their personalities were so alike it just about drove Alex crazy and it gave her a new appreciation for Denise.

But it was obvious that he had taken after Alex as well. Thomas had her bright blue/green eyes and power of observation, even at his young age. "Mommy?" A small voice brought Alex from her thoughts and she smiled. Cecily had started called her mommy after Thomas started talking and Alex loved it.

"Yeah Cesy?"

"Where's daddy?" The question caught Alex off guard.

"What do you mean darling?"

"Well everyone has a daddy. So where's me and Tommy's?"

"Well, when you were little, before Tommy was born, I had to go away from daddy."

"Why?" Thomas asked.

"Because it was what had to happen."

"Was it because he didn't love me?" Alex shook her head and got down on her knees, gently holding Cecily's face in one hand and Thomas's in the other.

"No. I don't want you to _ever_ think that, okay? He loved all of us very much. Would you like to see a picture of him?" Cecily smiled and they both nodded. They walked into Alex's room. Alex sat Cecily and Thomas on the bed against the pillows and pulled out a small wooden box from the closet. She pulled out a single picture from the box and sat down between the two with the box on her lap.

"Who are all these people with you, mommy?" Cecily asked, leaning close to see the picture.

"That is Jason, Nate, Tyler, Denise, Paul, and that—that is Shane, your daddy." Alex pointed to each person respectively. Cecily lightly touched Shane's face on the picture and looked back at Alex.

"He looks like Tommy." Alex smiled sadly and nodded.

"What madda mommy?" Thomas asked in a broken sentence. Only Alex's eighteen-month-old would be able to tell the difference between a sad smile and a genuine one

"Nothing, baby. I just miss him, that's all." Cecily took the box off Alex's lap and opened the lid.

"What's all this stuff?" Cecily asked. Alex carefully emptied the contents of the box onto the bed.

"That's a money clip that your Uncle Jason gave me. That's your Uncle Nate's necklace. And a bookmark that Grandma Denise made me." She picked up each item and set it back down as she talked about it, then she twisted the ring on her finger. "Daddy gave me this ring, it was his."

"Can we go for a ride, mommy? I think Tommy is tired." Alex smiled and nodded. They loaded into the truck and Alex drove slowly around the dirt roads. Thomas fell asleep and few minutes later Cecily did too. Alex's mind began to wonder, when the song on the radio began to intrude on her thoughts.

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
_

_That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_  
So far away (So far away)  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away (So far away)  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know_

I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you

Alex flipped off the radio as a tear leaked down her cheek. It was one of the songs off Connect 3's newest album. She had seen the premiere concert on television. After finishing the song Shane said, 'I love you Alex, and I'll never stop waiting for you'. Alex never forgot those words. They had caused a frenzy in the media and all kinds of crazy rumors to spread, but she clung to what she knew was the truth.

Alex, Cecily, and Thomas spent the remainder of the day together and ended up falling asleep in Alex's bed. The following morning Alex was awaked by the doorbell. She pulled on whatever clothing that was close and threw her hair into a messy ponytail, figuring it was just Anna. The doorbell rang twice more and Alex jogged to the door. "I coming! Geez Anna, is something—" She cut herself off, as the door opened enough to see Shane standing on her porch. "Shane?" Alex was immediate encased in his arms and she melted into his embrace.

"I missed you." He whispered into her hair. All worries were forgotten for the moment as they held each other, but when he pulled away a thousand nagging questions stabbed Alex's mind.

"How did you find me?" Shane looked Alex up and down, ignoring her question. Alex suddenly became painfully aware of how she looked. Baggy flannel pants, simple white tank-top, his over-sized hoody, no make-up, and messy pony-tail; plus she just woke up. She probably looked like death. Shane sensed her self-consciousness.

"I've never seen a more beautiful woman. _Ever_." Alex smiled, but it faded as she studied him. He looked exhausted and frail, despite his muscles. She gently brushed her hand against the side of his face. Shane's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into her touch.

"You haven't been sleeping." He looked at her.

"I was worried. _So_ worried. I had a gut-feeling, like I just had to find you." Alex realized that they were still standing in the doorway.

"Oh, come in." She stepped aside and Shane walked in.

"Where Cecily?" Shane asked as Alex led him to the kitchen.

"Asleep. Do you want some coffee?" Alex asked, grabbing the Folgers from the cupboard.

"Sure." Shane sat in a barstool at the counter as Alex poured the water and coffee grounds into her coffee maker. Alex wondered how she should tell him about Thomas, but that question was answered for her.

"Mommy?" Alex looked down at Thomas, who walked into the kitchen, dragging his raggedy teddy bear with him. She looked at Shane to see his reaction. At first he looked hurt and confused, but then she saw the wheels turning as he added up the months. Alex picked up Thomas.

"This is Shane." She said to Thomas.

"Daddy?" Thomas asked pointing at Shane.

"Yes, baby. Daddy. Why don't you go get Cesy for me."

"K." She set him on the floor and he ran back to the bedroom.

"He's mine?" Shane asked.

"You think he's someone else's?"

"No, it's just…I'm a dad. Why didn't you contact me?"

"What was I gonna say Shane? He's still out there; he's still looking for Cecily. I was afraid."

"What's his name?"

"Shane Thomas Gray Jr. I remember you told me that one time you wanted a junior, but we call him by his middle name." Shane starred at Alex in shock.

"And how did he know I was his dad?"

"I told him about you, showed them a picture. Cecily's probably going to call you daddy too. She calls me mommy." Shane nodded slowly, but as his shock dissipated a smirk appeared on his face.

"Is that my hoody?" Alex smiled and nodded.

"I also took two of your shirts."

"It looks better on you." Thomas walked back into the room followed by Cecily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her tired eyes landed on Shane and her face lit up. Shane stood, anticipating her next move. Cecily ran into his arms and buried her head in his shoulder.

"Daddy." Shane was grinning wide and Alex smiled at the sight. He spun Cecily slightly then set her back down and scooped up Thomas. It was unreal how alike they looked. Thomas was unsure and shy, but he let Shane hug him, then wiggled to the ground and hid behind Alex's leg.

"He's a little shy with new people." Alex explained. Shane felt a pang in his chest. He's Thomas's father, he shouldn't be 'new'. Alex noticed his hurt and smiled comfortingly. "You wanna help me make breakfast?" Shane nodded.

"I'd love to."

"Cecily, why don't you and Tommy go play at Anna's? I'll come get you when breakfast is ready." Cecily pouted, not wanting to leave, but she obediently took Thomas' hand and led him next door. Alex watched out the window until they disappeared into Anna's house, then pulled a few ingredients from the pantry and reached for the waffle iron on the top of the cupboard, but she was just a couple inches short. Shane came beside her and, without a word, grabbed it and set it on the counter. "Thanks. Do waffles and eggs sound good to you?"

"Yeah, when did you learn to cook?" Alex thought for a moment.

"Well, I've know how to use the stove since I was eight, but I didn't _really_ start cooking until I was eleven. Can you grab the eggs from the fridge?" Shane turned and snatched the eggs from the top shelf of the refrigerator and set them on the island.

"Why did you learn…?" Shane realized the answer before he got the question out. "_Oh_." Alex handed him a bowl.

"Do you like your eggs soft or scrambled?"

"I like both, so whatever you decide is fine."

"Scrambled it is then." Shane cracked eggs into the bowl as he watched Alex mix the waffle batter ingredients together.

"So who taught you to make waffles?"

"My mom, Meredith. She created the recipe actually." It was comfortably silent for a minute, when Alex broke the silence—and the comfort. "You weren't supposed to find us. You weren't supposed to come here."

"I know, but do you blame me? I had to look and when I found you, I had to come. But I was very careful, no one knows where I went or who I went to see. As far as the rest of the world knows, I'm still at home." Alex sighed and poured a portion of the batter into the waffle iron, then closed the lid.

"And what happens now Shane? You visit for a little while, but you know as well as I do you can't stay. Or even visit often."

"Can't we just enjoy the time we do have? Do we have to worry about that now?" Alex faced Shane.

"You don't get it. Cecily and Tommy won't understand. They don't get why they don't have a father and they'll understand even less when you leave."

"I love you, Alex." Alex's eyes darkened slightly. Shane had only told her those words once, the night Thomas was conceived, but he had no idea what they brought back. She shook her head.

"No. You can't say that." Shane was beyond confused, and his face showed it.

"Alex—?" He took a step toward her, but she took a step back.

"Stop. Stay back." Alex held the look of a cornered animal in her eyes; immense fright and a wild sense of self-preservation. Shane ignored her warning and took another step. She followed instinct and slapped him hard across the face. Shane lifted his hand and gently touched his cheek. Alex covered her mouth as she looked in horror at the mark in the shape of her own hand. Tears pooled in her eyes and she took a step back. "I'm sorry." She managed to choke out.

Alex looked like she was about to run, so Shane quickly stepped forward and engulfed her in his arms. "I'm sorry." She repeated.

"Shh. It's okay. It's alright." Shane whispered while rubbing soothing circles into her back.

"I can't do it again, Shane. I-I'm not strong enough." She sobbed into his shoulder.

"Do what?"

"I-I can't."

"Hey, it's alright. You're not making any sense, talk to me." Alex took a deep breath, inhaling in his sent and immediately calming down.

"I can't leave you again." She sniffled and sighed. "I'm not strong enough."

Shane held her tighter and kissed her hair. "I'll stay with you, as long as you want me here, I'll stay."

Alex wanted to argue, she wanted to tell him he had his parents, his brothers, the band, but she didn't. She wanted him more than anything, even if it was selfish.

"I love you." Shane whispered.

Alex went rigid, but forced herself to relax. It doesn't matter what her biological father did, because Shane isn't _him_.

Their perfect moment was ruined by the smoke detectors. Alex pulled away from Shane, swearing under her breath, and unplugged the waffle maker. She opened the lid and let the smoke boil off the black waffle. She lifted the pan and dumped its contents in the garbage, burning two of her fingers in the process. She dropped the skillet on the counter and shook her hand, alternating between muttering 'ow' and 'fuck' to herself.

Shane chuckled and grabbed her hands. "Hey, slow down." He brought her scalded fingers to his lips, then turned on the faucet and held her hand under the cool water. "You okay?"

Alex nodded, noticing their close proximity. "Yeah."

"Good." Shane shut off the water and shifted so they were facing each other, his hands still holding hers. "Now you can tell me what's wrong. We both know you aren't that sensitive to pain unless something else is bothering you."

Alex sighed, she almost hated how he remembered so much about her. Almost. "You _can't_ stay. No matter how much I want you to. You have a life Shane. You have parents and sibling and friends and all your fans. You can't give all that up for me." She answered, looking at their twined fingers. Alex finally looked at him. "I wouldn't give all that up for me."

Alex could see the pain in his eyes, he knew she was right and was hurting because of it. She broke contact with him and walked from the kitchen into the living room. Her heart shattering a little more with each step.

"Alexandra McClure—" Alex turned around to see Shane standing in the archway, furry written on his expression. She knew that look well, with every beating she ever took her dad wore that same expression. She cowered back a little as he took a step toward her. Her heart started beating erratically and she wanted to run, but her feet were frozen to the ground. He paused and his face softened, tears making his eyes shine in the dim lighting.

Shane rushed toward Alex and took her in his arms, holding her firmly against his chest. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I was just so angry. How could you think that I wouldn't give everything I have to be with you? But I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

Alex pulled back a couple inches so she could see his face. "There's nothing to forgive. But you can't give up everything for me. I won't let you. You'll end up resenting me. Just like my biological parents resented having me and just like John and Meredith would've if they had survived that day."

Shane placed a hand on each side of her face. "You don't honestly believe that?" Alex looked down and Shane gently made her look at him again. "John and Meredith loved you, they never resented you and they never could. Your biological parents were bastards, you can't take that personally." Pain filled Shane's eyes again and he pulled her closer so their lips were only centimeters apart. "And nothing you do could ever make me resent you, or love you less."

Alex studied his eyes and frowned. "If that's true then why does it hurt you so much to be close to me."

Shane let go of her and set his jaw. Alex could tell he was trying to control his anger. "Do you want to know what _hurts_ me?" He finally asked through clenched teeth. Alex nodded sheepishly, preparing herself for the worst, god knows she deserves it. "It _hurts_ when you push me away because you don't think you're good enough. It _hurts_ when I overreact and remind you of your father. It _hurts_ when you're scarred and I caused it. _I hurt_ when _you hurt_."

Shane wiped away the tears spilling over Alex's cheeks, trying to keep his own in. "It _hurts_ when I make you cry. But what really hurts is when you question my love for you. I must be one smug bastard, if you—the most observant person I know—can't see that I really do love you."

Alex chewed on her bottom lip. "You wanna know what hurts me? When you have to walk on eggshells around me because of how I'll react. It hurts that we can never be a normal couple because I'm so messed up. It hurts that I can't put down my damn wall for two seconds because I'm so afraid. It hurts when I see the pain in your eyes and I don't know what's causing it. It hurts that I can't tell you how I feel, because if I do and you leave it'll be the end of me. It hurts that no matter how much I know you should leave, I want you to stay. I should be stronger than that, I should be strong for you, so you can go back to your life."

Shane couldn't stand to hear anymore. He pressed his lips firmly against hers and pulled away. "If you think that I'd _ever _willing leave you, then you are sadly mistaken."

Alex couldn't stop the tears. "I left you." She squeaked.

"No, you didn't _leave_ me. You took a temporary leave of absence in order to protect Cecily, me, my family. I think you're stronger than you realize."

Alex sniffled and wiped her face on the back of her hand. She hugged Shane. "I'm gonna go clean myself up." She mumbled into his shoulder. Shane gave her one last squeeze and nodded.

"Go ahead."

Alex walked to the bathroom. She washed her face and starred at herself in the mirror for a minute, trying to figure out what Shane saw in her. She gave up and walked back out to the living room. Shane wasn't there so she headed for the kitchen. "Shane?"

"In here." Alex peeked into the kitchen area. Shane was standing at the stove, wearing her 'kiss the cook' apron, as he scrambled eggs. Alex smiled at the sight. It made her think about _'us'_ in a future tense. She walked up behind him and kissed his cheek. "Cook looks good on you."

Shane looked at her and smiled. "I bet it looks better on you." He turned fully, so they were face to face and kissed her gently. With their lips still connected Shane moved the apron over Alex's head and tied it around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her body closer to his, deepening the kiss. He pushed her back against the counter and lifted her so she was resting on it. Shane stood between her legs, his arms still around her waist and her arm resting on his shoulders. Alex roughly tugged on the ends of Shane's shaggy black locks, slowly opening his mouth with hers. She grazed her tongue over his bottom lip, testing the waters.

Shane tightened his grip on her hips and pushed his tongue passed her lips. He pulled away sharply and started trailing kisses down her jaw to the base of her neck, where he paused and sucked the supple skin. Alex sucked in a breath as her eye lids fluttered shut, reveling in the feeling of his lips on her skin.

"Shane…" Alex moaned quietly. Liking her reaction, Shane sucked a little harder then kissed up to her earlobe.

"I love you." He mumbled against her skin.

Alex pulled back, tears glistening in her eyes. Pain crossed Shane's expression and he took a step back. "I'm sorry." She squeaked.

"For what? I'm the one who can't seem to stop making you cry."

Alex slid off the counter, closing the distance between them and placing a hand on each side of his face. "It's not your fault." Alex could see that he didn't feel the same. She dropped her hands. "Maybe it would help if you knew everything."

Shane nodded. "I'd like to understand everything, but it it's too much for you—"

Alex shook her head. "I'll be fine." She turned off the stove and they sat down on the two barstools. Alex proceeded to explain it detail what had happened to her as a child, more than even John and Meredith had known. She told him how to the outside world they looked like the perfect loving family, but behind closed doors everything changed. And she did so without shedding a tear. It was difficult, but she did it for Shane and afterward she felt better knowing she could talk about it without having an emotional break down.

**A/N: I know it's been seriously forever since I updated this story, but I'm trying to finish it. There will probably only be a couple more chapters.**


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